Ablutophilia: Fetish for baths or showers; not to be confused with ablutophobia, a morbid fear of bathing or showering.
Abrasion: Stimulating the surface of the body with abrasive materials, for example, rough silk, chamois leather, fine sandpaper, brushes, wire wool. An often overlooked but surprisingly effective set of techniques, especially on a blindfolded bottom.
Acrophilia: Sexual arousal from being in high places. Definitely not be confused with acrophobia, a morbid fear of heights.
Adult babies: May refer to those who gain fetishistic satisfaction from dressing up in infants' clothing and using associated objects like nappies and cribs; may also indicate those who enjoy elaborate role-playing scenes in which they act out the part of a baby as fully as possible.
Aftercare: Communication after scenes is part of what is called aftercare. Aftercare is a process after a scene when the partners typically cuddle, and may discuss the good and bad parts of the scene.
Aftershock: A form of shock caused by the application of pain to the body. Effects and symptons may include trembling, feeling of cold, exhaustion, and confusion.
Age play: Play that involves taking on the role of someone of a different age. Most commonly, adults take on the role of children, perhaps in a submissive capacity.
Agonophilia: Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of foreplay.
Agoraphilia: Arousal from having sex in public places.
Agrexophilia: Excitement from knowing that others are aware of a persons sexual activities.
Algolagnia: Love of pain, from the Greek. Psychological term to describe SM preferred by sexologist Havelock Ellis, who saw it as "pain given in love." Perhaps useful to describe that element of SM that is about the enjoyment of pain itself rather than acting out domination and submission.
Altocalciphilia: Fetish for high heels.
Alternative lifestyle: Any sexual preference that is different from the generally accepted social norm.
Alternative sexuality: A sexual orientation with a few variations that differ from vaginal intercourse when a monogamous heterosexual relationship has been established.
Always: Attempted at all times and at least accomplished more then 50% of the time. Often used in conjunction with an assertion of good behavior (see "brat").
Amaurophilia: Excitement from having a partner who is unable to see them during sex.
Ampallang: Horizontal piercing through the glans penis.
Anal beads: A string of beads inserted into the anus.
Anal plug: Anal vibrator or anal plug designed to stimulate the anus.
Animal training: Play in which one partner takes on the role of an animal, and the other partner is the trainer.
Ankle restraint: Bondage device that restrains the ankles.
Apadrayva: Vertical piercing through the glans penis.
Aphephilia: Deriving pleasure from being touched.
Arab strap: A strap that goes round the penis and testicles.
Asphyxiaphilia: Breath control.
Autagonistophilia: Arousal from being on stage, being in front of a camera or in the public eye.
Ball gag: A ball shaped gag that prevents talking, held in place by a simple or elaborate harness.
Bastinado: Form of torture or punishment involving beating the soles of the feet; these are very tender and should be handled with care.
BDSM: Bondage/discipline, Domination/submission, and Sadomasochism.
B&D: Bondage and discipline. A subgroup within BDSM that is largely involved in making the submissive/bottom physically helpless and applying stimuli that outside of a scene would be painful.
Beating: Striking, typically administered as punishment, particularly in connection with childhood punishments such as spanking, caning, or whipping but also used to describe more "adult" scenes, like whipping.
Belonephilia: A paraphilia where an individual is aroused by pins, needles or other sharp objects.
Belting: Striking with a belt, normally on the buttocks or thighs but sometimes on the shoulders. In everyday language, sometimes used more generally; "belting someone in the mouth" is more likely to involve the backs of the hands than a belt.
Birch, birching: Light wooden rod or bundle of twigs, traditionally from the birch tree; striking with such an implement.
Black lightning: A black fiberglass or resin rod often with a leather or rubber handle that is used as a cane. Can you guess what colour a White lightning is?
Black snake: Single-lash whip that is flexible all the way to the knob.
Blindfold: Temporarily blocking the sense of sight is a common technique in SM scenes. It can make the bottom feel more vulnerable, help them concentrate or "get into the headspace", and is essential to the sorts of abrasion and surface play games where everyday objects are used to give unexpected sensations.
Block and tackle: A mechanical device that allows heavy objects to be lifted easily. Usally consists of a rope and mulitple pulleys with attachments allowing the pulleys to be hooked to a scaffold or hard point.
Blood sports: Play involving cutting, piercing or the drawing of blood.
Body bag: A fully enclosed rubber bag into which the slave or submissive is sealed. Used in restriction or mummification games.
Body fluids: Any fluid secreted from or contained within the body.
Body fluid bonding: Typically a practice of long-term couples who share body fluids only between each other in order to observe safer-sex recommendations. The partners may or may not play with others outside their relationship.
Body modification: Making temporary or permanent but usually superficial alterations to the appearance of the body, sometimes by painful processes.
Bootlicking: A common practice for domination and humiliation purposes, or sometimes just as a means of indulging a boot fetish.
Bondage: A group of techniques for rendering a submissive physically helpless.
Boudary: The edge of one's ability to handle sensation or other stimuli, physically or psychologically.
Bougie: A urethral sound.
Brain Fade: A state of confusion and/or inability to reason experienced by the submissive. This effect usually results from psychological domination, the mind-fuck, or a deepening submissive state.
Branding: To burn or scar the skin.
Brat: Term for a submissive who tries to get the attention of a Dom/me by stirring up trouble.
Breast bondage: Tying the female breasts with cord, string. rope, rubber bands, or scarves; may include nipple bondage or clamping.
Breast press: A device for compressing the breasts.
Breast stocks: Equipment similar to the breast press except the aim is restriction rather than pressure.
Breath play: Techniques that involve restricting or controlling one's breathing.
Brown shower: Sometimes referred to as "hard" sports. To be defecated upon.
Bullwhip: A long, heavy leather whip.
Butt plug: There are many types, sizes and models of butt plugs, e.g., rubber, latex, metal, inflatable, etc.
Butterfly board: Placed over the penus to pin, staple, or nail the scrotum.
Button: A word, situation or action that causes an unexpectedly strong emotional or psychological reaction.
Caging: Locking an individual in a cage.
Cane: Usually a 15-45" long stick used for spanking techniques.
Carabiner: A metal snap used for attaching ropes for restraints and suspension.
Cat, cat o'nine tails: A whip consisting of nine strands of leather attached to a handle. The cat leaves lasting marks, and inflicts extreme pain if wielded harshly.
Catagelophilia: A Paraphilia where a person finds sexual excitement in being ridiculed.
Catheter: A tube inserted into the urethra, used in medical scenes. There are obvious health and safety implications associated with this type of play.
Catheterization: Inserting a sterile tube into the urethra for the purpose of controlling urination.
Catheterophilia: Arousal from the use of catheters.
CBT: Cock and ball torture. Intense stimulation of the male sex by bondage, needles, or clamps.
CBT board: A wooden or leather board designed to hold the penis and testicles whilst they are tortured. It is usually attached with clamps.
CD: Cross-dressing. To dress as a female (if you’re male).
Chain: Used as an alternative to rope for bondage and suspension.
Checking in: Asking the submissive how they are feeling during a scene, if they wish to continue or stop, how the level of pain is etc. By analyzing the inflection and wording of the response and comparing it to visual clues, the top can determine wether or not the submissive is in fact giving a coherent answer, and if play should continue, slow down, or stop.
Chemical play: The use of chemicals on the skin to give the effect of heat or cold.
Chremastistophilia: A paraphilia where a person is sexually aroused by being robbed.
Chrysophilia: A paraphilia where a person is sexually aroused by gold or gold colored objects.
Clamp: Toy used in SM play (e.g., clothespin) to pinch areas of the body such as the breast or labia.
Clamp - Clover: Clover clamps are intricately curved spring mechanisms whose actual purpose is to hold fabrics tightly for sewing; often sold in pairs with a chain attaching them.
Clamp - Roach: Thin tweezers with small rubber coverings on the tips and a sliding ring for adjusting the tightness.
Clamp - Rolls Royce: Heavy clamps with rubber tip coverings, a chain between them, and an adjustment mechanism that works by screwing them tighter.
Claustrophilia: A paraphilia where a person becomes sexually aroused by being confined to small places.
Clothespin: These mostly harmless miniature clamps are the ultimate pervertible clamp.
Collar: Worn to denote submissiveness or slavery to a particular Master/Mistress.
Collared: To have accepted a collar from a dominant. This presumes a certain degree of continued submission the degree of which is up to the individuals involved and may range from highly dedicated to extremely casual.
Collaring: The ceremony or ritual by which a submissive becomes bound to his or her Master/Mistress. Collaring represents a serious commitment between the players and is not a part of casual play.
Cock ring: A ring made from metal, rubber, or leather, worn round the base of the penis to control blood flow. A cock ring can either help sustain an erection, or prevent one if applied to a flaccid penis.
Consensual: Agreed to. Most people feel that informed consent is necessary during all BDSM play. This means that both parties are aware of the inherent risks and accept them.
Contract: A written agreement about the rights and duties of the D/s partners. Those contracts do not have any meaning in terms of law, but they are often used to define the relationship.
Coprophilia: The technical term for scat games.
Corporal punishment: CP is "punishment" by beating; sometimes implies a more vigorous beating than spanking, but the two are often used interchangeably.
Crop: Riding crop used for spanking techniques.
Crucifixion: Bondage where the submissive's arms and legs are tied or shackled to a stationary cross
Crurophilia: A paraphilia where a person is sexually aroused by legs.
Cuffs: Either metal or leather, and worn on the wrists and/or ankles as a method of restraint.
Cupping: The placing of suction devices on the skin.
Cutting: Cutting with a knife or scalpel.
Dacryphilia: A Paraphilia where one becomes aroused by the tears of their partner.
Dark room: A dungeon (play space) where the lights are intentionally kept subdued.
Decorative binding: Using rope or cord to compress or tie a portion of the body where struggle will not cause it to tighten or cut into the submissive.
Degradation: Extreme humiliation.
Dildo play/training: A dildo is inserted into the rectum. There are various sizes, from finger size to enormous.
Dog training: Role-play where the sub/bottom is trained/treated like a dog, such as wearing a collar and lead, eating and drinking from a bowl on the floor, made to beg and bark.
Dom/me: A dominant male or female person - the person in charge/control (and who gets to sit in chairs or sofas).
Dominant: An individual who accepts the submissive's power and uses it for their mutual pleasure.
Domination: To be dominated by another. This includes obeying instructions, carrying out tasks, humiliation, and being dominated generally. Domination, in its strictest definition, is largely psychological play and is distinct from "topping", which refers to physical SM.
Dungeon: Generic term used to describe a play area. Dungeons can be permanant or temporary, with fixed, portable, or no equipment.
Edgeplay: These are particularly dangerous activities that are looked upon with some trepidation. Often techniques that include blood sports and asphyxia.
Edgeplayer: A person takes part in edgeplay. Example: "The guy is a real edgeplayer; he's into heavy blood sports and asphyxia."
Electro-torture: Using a small electrical current used for erotic stimulation.
Electrics: To be tortured or stimulated with a low-voltage electrical device, such as a violet wand, PES, or a TENS unit. Safe when done by a knowledgeable dominant but very dangerous when done by an inexperienced dominant.
Elastrator: Device, resembling a pair of tongs, used for applying very strong and tight elastic bands, intended for veterinary use in castrating and tail-cropping young animals, but sometimes used as a form of clamp in SM play, especially on nipples (prolonged wearing of such bands should be avoided).
Enema: An enema is used to fill the colon with water or other liquid. Often used in medical scenes.
Endorphin: Natural painkiller secreted by the body when experiencing pain. It allows one to receive more pain due to an analgesic effect. When a person is under the influence of endorphins, usually it is said that he or she is in "subspace."
EPE: Erotic power exchange.
Erotic Embarrassment: "Forcing" a submissive to dress, speak or perform acts that he or she actually desires but has been restrained by societal pressures.
Exhibitionism: Getting sexual pleasure from exposing or displaying the body to others or being watched while having sex.
Fantasy: Many and varied. Whatever your fantasy, you can wager your pension that someone else, somewhere, has a similar fantasy.
Femdom: A female dominant or female domination.
Feminization: For a man to be dressed and often made-up as a female, either voluntarily or under duress (such as in "forced feminization").
Fetish, Fetishist: Fetish is a term used to describe a specific area of interest; likewise a fetishist is one participates in those fetishes. There are probably a hundred or more activities which can be described as fetishes, but a representative example are those involving rubber, latex, PVC or leather.

In anthropology, a fetish is an object to which powers are attributed that go beyond its natural ones; when the term is extended to sexuality, it indicates an object not naturally connected with sexual reproduction that nonetheless causes sexual arousal for some people. As Freud puts it, the fetish bears some relation to the normal sexual object but is entirely unsuited to serve the normal sexual aim (by which, of course, he means the reproductive aim). The best known object fetishes are for items of clothing, especially those made out of particular materials like fur, leather and rubber, and boots and shoes. However, if the notion of a fetish is extended to include activities, then SM, which consists almost entirely of activities unsuited to serve the normal sexual aim, appears as one big fetish.
Figging: The spreading of ground ginger on the female genital area to produce a feeling of heat.
Fire and ice: Play involving the alternating use of heat and cold.
Fire play: Applying fire for brief periods of time, either caressing another with a flame or creating a burst of flame on the body.
Fisting: Vaginal or even anal penetration using the fist/hand.
Flagellation: Sometimes abbreviated to fladge or flag (the latter pronounced identically to the former), though these are both rather dated. First used in English for the self-whipping of mediaeval religious flagellant cults. In the modern era used by psychologists and sometimes among practitioners as a general term to describe SM-related whipping, beating and spanking for erotic stimulation. A useful overall term, though currently out of fashion on the SM scene.
Flail: A rod with a hinge in the centre. Sometimes used to describe a flogger.
Flying: Suspension in a near horizontal position. Also a feeling of elation combined with unreality that may be felt by a bottom during play.
Flogger: A multi strap/string whip, straps/strings are usually up to 20" long and made of leather or rubber.
Fringe whip: A light multistrand whip with braided nylon or rope falls.
Gas mask: Device used for breath play or mummification.
Gag: There are many kinds of different gags: ball gags, penis-shaped gags, even inflatable gags.
Gates of Hell: Leather or rubber device consisting of several straps that encloses and restricts the penis and testicles. Used as a male chastity device.
Gerontophilia: A paraphilia for a much older partner.
Genitorture: Pain play involving the genitals.
Go word: A signal by the submissive that everything is all right and you can continue with or increase the present level of stimulation.
Golden shower: A humiliation technique where the dominant urinates on the submissive.
Gymnophobia: Fear of nudity.
Gynelophilous: Arousal from the sight or touch of pubic hair.
Gynophobia: Fear of women.
Hamartophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by committing acts they consider to be sinful.
Handcuffs: These metal bondage items, familiar from police use, are another one of those well-known SM icons that have real practical drawbacks: they can be painful and damaging to nerves and bones, and like all metal bondage items should be used with great care. Two popular types are the U-shapes with a cross-piece and the ratchet type. Straight 8s have both cuffs as one solid piece rather than joined with a chain, thumb cuffs are usually mini straight 8s and ankle cuffs are larger and with a longer chain.
Haptephilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by being touched.
Harness: Usually leather or rubber, worn by the submissive. The harness will sometimes restrict the movement of the arms.
Head harness: A harness worn on the head; may restrict motion, vision, or both.
Heavy play: A subjective term for intense play. What is heavy play for one is a light warm-up for another.
Hedonist: A person who dedicates a significant amount of time to the pursuit of physical pleasure.
Hedonophobia: Fear of pleasure.
Hedgehog: A spiked wheel sometimes used in abrasion scenes, similar to a Wurtenburg wheel.
Hobble skirt: Very narrow skirt with hem below the knee, or longer, that restricts the wearer's ability to take anything other than very short steps, sometimes used as a bondage item.
Homilophilia: Arousal from giving or receiving a sermon or speech.
Hood: Hoods are usually rubber, leather, latex or PVC and totally enclose the head. There are many different types of hoods, but some have gags or zips fitted to restrict vision and breathing. Very efficient when used as part of sensory deprivation games.
Horse: In bondage, a horse is any item of furniture that a bottom can be tied down over, usually to expose the buttocks for some form of flagellation. They can be improvised from chairs, gym horses can be used, or purpose-built items acquired.
Human toilet training: You're the toilet, and often restrained in a toilet box, while the dominant urinates or defecates on you.
Humiliation: Takes many forms, but is exactly what it says. To be humiliated forms a part of many scenes, but what one person finds humiliating is not necessarily the same thing for the next person.
Hygrophilia: Arousal from contact with body secretions.
Hyphephilia: Sexual arousal from touching specific types of fabrics.
Hypnotism: Some engage in hypno-play. You have to make your own mind up about getting into this.
Hypoxyphilia: Sexual arousal from the limiting or withholding of oxygen.
Ice: Ice can be used very effectively as an instrument of torture. Often used in conjunction with hot wax.
Idrophrodisia: Arousal from perspiration.
I'll never: A form of temporary denial.
Immobilization: Any form of bondage where the physical movement is prevented to some degree, or totally.
Infantilism: Adult babies.
Infibulation: Fastening of the genitals to prevent intercourse or even sometimes arousal, as in chastity games, usually achieved by piercing or suturing (sewing).
Interrogation: A type of role-play that can be very intense. Interrogation may involve torture.
Irons: Various kinds of metal bondage equipment, the best known being the leg irons with two riveted steel cuffs for the ankles attached to a bar or chain.
Japanese Bondage: A number of styles of decorative (and functional) rope bondage originating from styles used in the Far East.
Kainotophilia: A paraphilia where a person derives sexual excitement from change.
Kakorrhaphiphilia: A paraphilia where a person derives sexual excitement from failure.
Keraunophilia: A paraphilia where a person derives sexual excitement from thunder and/or lightning.
Kinbaku: A form of Japanese rope bondage.
Kinesophilia: A paraphilia where a person derives sexual pleasure from exercise.
Kleptophilia: A paraphilia in which sexual arousal is dependent on stealing.
Klismaphilia: A love of enemas. Enema games.
Knife play: The use of knives as a form of sensation play. The knife may be drawn across the body to threaten, stimulate by tickling or scratching the skin, or may be used to cut off clothing.
Knismolagnia: Sexual arousal from being tickled.
Knissophilia: A paraphilia where a person derives sexual pleasure from incense.
Kolpophobia: Fear of the female genitals.
Kopophilia: A paraphilia where a person derives sexual excitement from exhaustion.
Lacing: Connecting temporary piercings with thread or light chain. The piercings may be connected to each other or to a framework.
Lash: Long-tailed implement such as a whip, that causes a stinging pain.
Leather: Material made from the cured skin of animals is a popular sexual fetish: it may combine some natural appeal with the social associations of particularly black leather with power and masculinity. Certainly it often co-occurs with SM interests and was the dress code and de facto uniform of the influential gay male SM community that developed in the US from the 1960s, who came to be known as leathermen.
Leg restraint: Bondage restraint used to fasten the legs in position.
Leg stretcher: Bondage device used to force the legs apart.
Limit: The point beyond which a player in a BDSM game does not consent to go. Can either indicate a particular activity that someone cannot cope with or finds a turnoff, or a point reached in play at which the stimulation ceases to be enjoyable or satisfying, or becomes impossible to cope with psychologically. Obviously the limits will vary between person to person and situation to situation. Note that although limits are usually thought of in connection with bottoms, they are also applicable to tops.
Limits - hard: A predetermined area or boundary beyond which Top/Dom may not push. Usually refers to specific activities, and may be summed up as "not fucking likely..."
Limits - pushing: The gradual expansion of a dominant's and a submissive repertoire as they gain confidence and seek new challenges.
Limits - respecting: A fundamental ethic among kinky people is to treat limits as a sacred trust, and never to violate the submissive's trust by non-consensually exceeding their limits.
Lunge whip: A long thin whip.
Machlaenomania: Masochism in women.
Maid training: Wearing a maid's outfit. Cleaning, serving, and generally acting as a maid.
Malacca: Thick cane with a knob-shaped handle at one end.
Manacle: Metal rings joined by a chain to restrain wrists or ankles.
Martinet: A small flogger usually having six falls of the same length as the handle.
Masochism: The ability to derive pleasure from pain. Derives from the writings of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
Master/Mistress: Mostly used in terms of "ownership" (e.g., of a slave).
Mastigophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by punishment.
Marks: Remember that even the lightest application of a whip or crop will leave marks that will be visible for anything from several hours to several days.
Martinet: Small flogger usually having six leather tresses of the same length as the handle.
Mazophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by women's breasts.
Medical scenes: Scene involving some form of medical procedure or scenario, someone role of a doctor or nurse and the bottom a patient, often with a control element. Typical medical scenes may involve intrusive physical examinations and insertive medical equipment such as specula, douching and enemas, and perhaps catheterization, piercing, suturing, electricity, breath control with anesthesia masks, and the use of nasogastric tubes.
Medorthophobia: Fear of an erect penis.
Megalophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by large objects.
Mentor: An experienced top that teachs safety, ideas, style, and technique.
Merinthophilia: Arousal from being bound.
Metophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by another person's face.
Mind-fuck: Also known as "head-play, mind-play, mind games, head games, and head trips. A mind-fuck is the process of deliberately misleading a partner into believing something horrible is about to happen. This means any kind of manipulation by the top which heightens anticipation and fear in an emotionally masochistic bottom and thus intensifies the bottom's erotic response.
Metrophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by poetry.
Mummification: A form of bondage where the passive part is wrapped up more or less completely.
Munch: A casual social gathering of the BDSM community, usually in a public restaurant or bar.
Mysophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by dirt or being dirty.
Narratophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by erotic conversations.
Nasophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by touching a partner's nose.
Needle play: Piercing with sterile needles.
Negotiation: With the variety of activities that come under the rubric of BDSM, the huge variation in individuals' limits and the importance of consent, a good deal of open, honest negotiation before a scene is vital.
Neophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by anything new.
Nipple torture: Any application of pain to the nipples. Clamps, of which there are many kinds, are often used.
Nostril strap: Restraint which hooks into the nostrils; used in Japanese BDSM
Nuchae: Piercing through the back of the neck.
Nyctophilia: A paraphilia where someone is extremely aroused by darkness or night.
Obedience: Compliance with commands.
Oral service: Fellatio or cunnilingus.
OTK: Over the knee. A form of spanking.
PA: Prince Albert. A ring that pierces through the urethra and comes out of the underside of the penis.
Paddle: A flat instrument used for spanking purposes - mostly made of leather or wood - sometimes with air holes for a better effect.
Pain slut: Someone who glories in receiving what most would call intense pain.
Pain threshold: The point of intensity at which stimulation becomes pain.
Painful bondage: Specialist form of severe bondage which is carried out not just for restraint but to inflict pain by fastening the body into positions that place strain on the muscles.
Panic snap: A linking device used with cable or chain that allows two lengths to be disconnected even when there is tension in the system. A safety device.
Pansexual: A person who is attracted to all genders and all forms of sex.
Pansexuality: All-encompassing sexuality, disregarding gender differences and, sometimes, preferences for particular activities. Could be used of a person, in which case it suggests a wide interest in all forms of sex with partners of any gender. Much more commonly used of a community: some people have argued for the pansexuality of the BDSM community. Alternatively pansexual can mean simply pertaining to all sexes and sexual orientations.
Panty boys: Those who like to wear female underwear, especially panties, as part of a scene.
Parachute: Parachute-shaped rubber or leather attachment for the scrotum or penis. Weights are then placed in it to stretch the penis and testicles.
Paraphilia: The general term for a sex practice that becomes necessary for sexual arousal but that is not approved by social norms.
Percussion play: Term used by to group together all activities involving repeated striking, with the hands or with any heavy or light, blunt, cutting, or stinging implement.
Pervertible: Term used to describe objects intended for some nonsexual use, especially everyday household objects that can nonetheless be appropriated for BDSM play. Typical pervertibles are clothespins, saran wrap, household candles, and wooden spoons and spatulas that can be used as improvised paddles.
Petplay: Role-play where the sub acts within the role of an animal such as a pony, cat or dog.
Pet training: To be trained as a dog, pony or other pet.
Phobia: A prolonged, intense fear of a person, object or condition, that interferes with normal day-to-day functioning.
Pillory: A fixed set of stocks with openings for the head and wrists. The head and wrists are held at the same level, usually at a height that requires the detainee to bend at the waist.
Piercing: Either temporary or permanent. If temporary, needles are used and removed at the end of the scene. There are many kinds of body piercing that are permanent, including piercings of the genitalia and nipples.
Piquerism: Drawing blood by piercing the skin with a knife or blade.
Play: To participate in a BDSM scene.
Pony boys/girls: A submissive trained to act like a pony.
Pony training: This involves acting as a pony, pulling a small trailer. And guess where you wear the tail?
Pro-Domme: Professional dominatrix. Payment ("tribute") is expected for her sessions.
Proctoscope: The male version of a speculum.
Prostate Milking: A method of provoking ejaculation without touching the penis. The prostate is massaged internally, causing semen to leave the ampulla, a storage reservoir, and ejaculate. When used in conjunction with a chastity device and ice on the penis and testicles, the pleasure can be removed from the act of ejaculation leaving the male drained of semen and making enforced chastity much easier.
Punitive Pain: Pain that by intention is designed to hurt for non-erotic purposes, usually for punishment.
PVC: Polyvinylchloride - a plastic used for fetish clothing and for bondage devices.
Pygmalionism: Attraction to manikins.
Pygophilia: Arousal from touching, playing with or seeing another's buttocks.
Pyrolagnia: Sexual arousal form watching fire.
Pyrophilia: Sexual arousal from fire.
Queening: When a woman sits astride a person's face covering mouth and nose. Could be simply for cunnilingus or practiced as a form of breath control.
Quirt: A long coaching whip.
Rack: Item of bondage furniture consisting of a horizontal platform or table with fixing points allowing someone to be stretched out on their back or front with easy access all round: rarely do modern racks provide the facility for progressive stretching familiar from the popular image of the medieval torture chamber.
Rebreathing: A form of breath control or suffocation involving breathing into an airtight enclosure so the oxygen is cumulatively exhausted and supplanted by exhaled carbon dioxide.
Reminder: The lingering sting of ones backside that settles the question of which is more important- the wishes of your Dominant or "Oprah."
Restraint: Various objects designed for bondage purposes, usually consisting of straps or buckles for placing round limbs prior to fastening them together, as in ankle, elbow, leg, and wrist restraints.
Restriction: May mean limiting someone's movement with the use of fastenings of various kinds, as in bondage; or a rule of behaviour placed upon a bottom as part of role-play; or a special kind of bondage involving binding the chest to restrict the breathing, a form of breath control.
Retifism: Fetish for boots and shoes.
Rhabdophilia: Arousal from being flogged, beaten or caned.
Riding crop: Short whip with a loop of leather on the end intended for use on horses but very useful and adaptable on humans too.
Rimming: Mouth contact with the anus including insertion of the tongue inside it.
Role-play: You both act out roles, teacher/pupil or nurse/patient for example. Usually, only the broad outlines are sketched out. Almost all BDSM involves some level of role-play.
Rubber: After leather, easily the most popular material fetish going, though it tends to be more popular in Europe, where items can be obtained reasonably cheaply, than in US, where they are very expensive. It mainly takes the form of an interest in clothing, hoods and bondage items made out of latex sheeting and, as with leather, black is the most popular colour. Most clothing is purpose made, often in imitation of more conventional styles, but some items, such as all in one suits, are peculiar to the fetish community. Shorts and T-shirts are common but some rubber fans want to be totally encased in rubber.
SSC: Safe, Sane, Consensual. What all your scenes should be.
S&M: Sadism and Masochism; A term often used to describe the D/s scene; however, it is falling into disrepute because it is both inaccurate (Dominants are not sadists) and overly limited (all submissives are not masochists).
Sadist: An individual who enjoys causing pain in a nonconsensual manner or regardless of the presence of absence of consent.
Safeword: A word, phrase or signal the participants agree on which has the meaning of a stop sign - all play has to stop immediately when this signal is given.
SAM: Smart-assed masochist. A pseudosubmissive who attempts to control everything the sadist does. Similar to "brat".
Scaffolding: A metal or wooden framework.
Scarfing: Partial strangulation with a scarf.
Scarifying: Cutting in order to leave permanant scars or temporary whelts.
Scene (A): A BDSM game or situation (such as in an "abduction scene").
Scene (The): The gamut of activities and people considered as a whole. BDSM generally is referred to as The Scene.
Scourge: A scourge is typically a whip of several leather thongs, as once practised by religious flagellants. Used loosely, the term "scourging" is likely to imply a whipping severe enough to draw blood.
Scrotal infusion: Injection of sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
Sensory deprivation: A form of restraint where all sensory input is systematically cut off through blindfolds, ear plugs or earphones and secure but non-painful bondage.
Sensory relocation: Transferring the feeling of a stimuli to a different body location than it is received.
Serpents tongue: Slapper made of a thick strap of leather, two or three inches wide, with a deep vee shaped cut into most of the length of the piece.
Sexual orientation: Sexual identification, as defined by a person's sexual relationships or affinity.
Shackles: Metal cuffs joined by a chain or bar.
Shibari: Japanese rope bondage. Often elaborate and decorative.
Signal whip: Medium-length plaited leather whip similar to a small bullwhip, as used with dog teams.
Slapper: Form of paddle with hinged second surface to produce extra-loud noise on contact.
Slapping: Hitting anywhere on the bottom (except for the ass, where it becomes spanking) with an open hand.
Slave: Often used interchangeably with submissive, but generally reflecting a more intense level of submission or nonsexual or sexual-plus submission. For example, a slave might be someone who remains in a 24-hours-a-day submission and cooks, cleans and, otherwise, takes care of a dominant's house.
Sleepsack: A bag in which to wrap the body for a particularly intense form of bondage, custom-made from leather or rubber or improvised from a sleeping bag and rope or straps.
Sling: A cross between a swing and a hammock in which a bottom may be comfortably suspended.
Sound: A medical stainless steel rod which may be inserted into the urethra.
Sounding: Male urethral play. Actual penile urethral sounds are usually Van Burens (curved) and Dittels (straight). These are hard to find and can be quite expensive. Most stuffers use medical devices that are actually uterine dilators, called Pratts or Hegars but they are also commonly called sounds.
Spanish collar: A metal collar with long spikes on the outside, or small spikes on the inside, which makes it impossible for the wearer to lie down or rest.
Spanking skirt: A skirt or dress with cut-outs over each cheek, designed to allow bare-skinned spanking.
Spanking: The application of stimuli to the buttocks with a bare hand (usually) that outside of a scene would be considered painful.
Spanking bench: A bench designed for spanking.
Speculum: Device intended for medical examination of the vagina, normally made of steel in a duckbill design. The bill is lubricated and inserted and then the two jaws are moved apart with a screw mechanism, stretching the opening to give a clear view down the throat of the instrument. Objects such as swabs can also be inserted through the throat and into the office. Used by SMers in medical scenes but also in more general use; the ability to slowly increase the tension on the opening is useful in anal fisting as a way of gradually stretching and relaxing the sphincter. Proctoscopes are similar devices.
Spencer paddle: A wooden paddle with holes drilled in the striking surface.
Spreader bar: A bar of any kind of material (usually wood or metal) used to keep two body part (legs or wrist) away from each other. Used in bondage play.
Squeeze signal: A silent used to indicate that everything is okay during a scene.
St. Andrew's Cross: An X-shaped cross upon which the submissive is tied.
St. Catherine's Wheel: A vertical wheel to which a submissive can be strapped and spun around.
Stapling: Use of a surgical stapler; temporary piercing and lacing done with a surgical stapler and sterile medical staples.
Sting: A term used to describe the feeling of being hit by an instrument such as a thin cane; opposite of thud.
Stitching: Use of surgical sutures on the penus or labia.
Stocks: Substantial item of bondage furniture based on medieval model, usually consisting of a two hinged pieces of wood with semicircular holes that when locked together form rings to trap neck, wrists and/or ankles.
Strait jacket: A garment sometimes used on prisoners or psychiatric patients with closed-ended sleeves that can be strapped around the person's back, sometimes also used for bondage.
Strap: A Length of leather or other material used for fastening or for striking the body.
Strap-on: A latex penis attached to the body by a harness.
Strapple: An elongated paddle with a bit more flex so that is something intermediate between a strap and a paddle.
Submissive: A person who gives the control to another person (Dominant). Familiarly called a "sub".
Subspace: A state of mind and body, often like a trance (some describe it as flying/drifting), caused by endorphins emitted during an intense scene or stress.
Suspension: Being hung up, or suspended, by the tied wrists, wrists and ankles or even feet.
Suspension cuffs: Wrist and ankle cuffs designed for suspension.
Switch: A person who "switches" roles, usually between top/bottom. Seen more in SM than in D/s.
Tantalolagnia: Arousal from teasing.
Temporary Piercing: Using a sterile needle to penetrate the skin as a stimulation rather than to produce a hole to be used for jewelry as in conventional piercing.
TENS Unit: Battery-powered device for delivering a low-voltage electric shock.
Tethering: Fixing someone to a point to limit their movement, usually by means of a rope.
Thrashing: A heavy and prolonged flogging or flagellation.
Thud: Term used to describe the feeling of being hit by an heavy instrument; opposite of sting.
Time play: Distortion of time.
Tit torture: Intense breast stimulation (for example with needles, clamps, tight bondage, etc.).
Top: Generally, the person in charge/control of an SM scene, i.e., the doer rather than the "doee".
Top space: A state of altered consciousness achieved during a scene by the dominant or top characterized by feelings of intense focus, clarity of thought, a sense of extreme power or high energy, and/or exhilaration. Feelings of distance and objectivity, as if one were commanding from a mountain top, may paradoxically accompany feelings of connection to the submissive, as if there were a psychic link. A dispassionate perspective may combine with erotic ardor. Top space may be followed by either a continued sense of well-being or by feelings of fatigue, depression, or lethargy.
Topping from the bottom: The not always subtle art of a bottom adding directions to a scene: "No dammit, use the other flogger! Are you almost finished?"
Toy: Generally, any item of equipment used in an SM scene.
TPE: Total Power Exchange - term for an extreme form of a 24/7 D/s relationship.
Torture: Generic term for activities that occur during a scene. Can be from mild to extreme.
Training: Discipline used by the dominant to control the submissive's behavior.
Trichophilia: Hair Fetish.
Tripsolagnophilia: Arousal from massage.
Urethral sound: A medical stainless steel rod which may be inserted into the urethra.
Uranophobia: An irrational fear of homosexuals and homosexuality.
Urophilia: Sexual arousal from contact with urine.
Urtication: Use of stinging nettles on the body.
Vaccinophilia: A paraphilia where a person derives sexual gratification from being vaccinated.
Vacuum bag: A plastic or rubber bag designed to encase a person, from which the air may be extracted using a vacuum cleaner.
Vampire glove: A glove studded with outward facing tacks, staples or other sharp objects.
Vampirism: The drinking of blood or fetish for blood.
Vanilla: Often used for "plain standard sex" - non-BDSM sex, or to describe those not in the BDSM scene.
Vicarphilia: A paraphilia where a person becomes sexually aroused by hearing stories about other people's lives.
Vincilagnia: Arousal from being tied up.
Violet wand: An electric device usually in form of a glass cylinder that uses the effect of high frequent electric charges generated by a tesla device to apply intense stimulation.
Voyeur: An individual who gets sexual gratification from watching other people perform sexual acts.
Wand of Venus: A birch rod.
Wartenburg wheel: A spiked wheel sometimes used in abrasion scenes. Wartenburg wheels are used to test neural responses of spinal chord injury patients.
Watersport: A humiliation technique where the dominant urinates on the submissive.
Waxing, wax play: Hot candle wax dripped on the body is an effective means of inflicting pain. Can be sensual or painful, depending on the height from which the wax is dropped.
Weight training: The suspension of wights from clamps, permanent, or temporary piercings attached to the body.
Whip: Usually made of leather with a medium-sized handle and long braided leather strings.
White room: Room where medical and clinical games are played.
Worship: To lavish attention to a body part.
Wrapping: A term used when a whip or similar weapon curls round the body.
Wrapping: Wrapping of the body with rubber, adhesive tape, or cling-film.
Wrist suspension: Suspending by the wrists using specially padded wrist cuffs, often in conjunction with a body harness.
X-frame: A bondage frame in the shape of an X in a horizontal position.
Xenophilia: Sexual arousal from strangers.
Yoke: A metal or wooden bar which holds the neck and wrists.
Zelophile: A person who is sexually excited by their partner's jealousy.
Zoophilia: A person who has a profound emotional and/or physical attraction to animals. This attraction is manifested in many ways, including sexual contact with animals.