Carmen’s Thoughts

Hi, I'm Carmen for YourDesires... Call me @ 360.709.0100 (ask for Carmen) or E-Mail me @ ""
%author%     Status: Offline
Age: 26
Cup Size: 34c.24.36
Trillian: CarmenCravesYou
My [Blog]
My [Story Archives]
Our [Extreme Sex Toy Store]
Multiple girl calls are available. For rates and billing information, click [here]
Likes: Financial domination, black mail, cum denial, tease and denial, giving and enforcing punishment, sensual domination, degrading your pathetic ass, and pushing you to your limits.
For more pictures and my full bio, click [here] (nsfw)

Carmen’s Thoughts

My erogenous zones:

arch of feet
back of knees
behind ear

my favorite spots to play with on other:
underside of cock

I think we can make quite a fun game though of finding what other parts we like played with on each other. Willing to play?

I used to have a slave that I used cigarettes and cigars on their balls. DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH FUN THIS IS? So much fun! I also had him burn a big ‘C’ into his balls with cigarettes.

Have I mentioned I love a good pain slut? I watched this toy put 14 Q-Tips into his pee hole. Fuck. Anyone able to give me this? I’m needing to use someone to this degree like ASAP.

In case you’re curious (and I know you are) I drink a LOT of water so if you are into golden showers chances are I have a WHOLE LOTTA PISS waiting for. I want to stand over you and let my hot steam cascade down your body. I want you to hold you mouth open for me while I aim my stream for it. Hold it in until I tell you to swallow.


Here is a PERFECT email to receive on NYE:

“dear Goddess

you asked me to take stock in what I want to let go this year and what i want to keep. i let go of serving people who dont have my best interest, and i want more of you. i let go of resisting orders, and embrace the scary. i let go of ego, and embrace you.

this year is dedicated to you, Goddess!

i humbly am yours.”

More of these kind of emails, please! I love hearing when you let go of your need to control and relinquish power to me. Happy NYE indeed.

Your cheeks stripped,
Your eyes red-rimmed.
Your breaths coming in gulps,
Your knees raw.

You cry out my name,
You hear my lips part in a smile.
Another birthday, come and gone.
Another hour of your torture.

How delightfully wicked
to watch you serve, kneel, and cry.
When it’s all over
Satisfied sigh.

What are your new year’s resolutions, my loves? Here are some ideas if you
don’t have anything:

1. Make a shrine of Goddess Carmen and worship it every day.
2. Make tributes more regularly to Goddess Carmen.
3. Practice my affirmations every day so I can serve Goddess fully.
4. Worship Goddess more fully.
5. Acquire more of Goddess Carmen’s clothing to wear and taste.

Ha! Another email I just received today that pleased me. Goodness, i love pay pigs…they are so pathetic.

“Pleaase take my money, Mistress. You are worthy of it all. The only reason i have a job is so i can make You happy. i wish i made more money, You deserve all the riches any man has to offer. i know, i know….i am not a man. i am an ATM. Please take all my money. i will dispense the cash like a good ATM. i am not worthy of you. You are perfect.”

This email would be MUCH more exciting if this little ATM actually dispensed more than $20 here and there….but not all ATMs are made equal. Some ATMs are broke and have shitty jobs, but their service is still admirable….kind of.

Here is an excerpt from an email I received recently that had me dying of laughter. If you want to get my attention- here’s how:

“Why, remembering all the times you’ve gently caressed my lips as you softly kissed them and blew your breath into me, forcing me to breathe all your smoke, helpless as you take drag after drag, seducing me with your maniacal laughter and angelic voice. All that will get you nowhere with me now girlie! Im impervious to it all! All that intensity as you kiss me breathily about the lips, your smoke freely enveloping me, your breath caressing my lungs as I breathe you in, lost in the ecstasy of you riding me like it was the last time we would ever be together again… Back foul being! All that is nothing to me now! That’s why they call me “Carmen-proof man!” Actually, that’s a pretty stupid name, as you just may be my kryptonite. Ah, the sad fall of our great hero, as he breathlessy awaits the call of this fair maiden from the perimeter of the earths rim, where she sadly fell to her ruin, yet somehow has come back from the dead, to continue plaguing the dreams of our lusty super hero. Will there be a sequel? Will the starcrossed lovers ever cross paths again? Will this Carmen character ever be written back into the life of our lonely, mild-mannered super hero? Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter in… “My Lonely, Miserable Existance”, as he continues pining for his lost love, Carmen from the Earth’s Edge. Call me! Hurry! Offer ends at midnight! God help me! I’m so fucking weak… boo hoo”

“Dear Goddess Carmen,

i truly hope you had a wonderful birthday and i am looking forward to working extra hard to please you for this special occasion. To be honest i tough your birthday was December 20th. Something made me feel uneasy as i began thinking about how to reach you on your birthday and what i could do to please you. I realized it was the 16th. i am incredibly sorry for confusing your birthday. i know that you know how much i value you and how much i enjoy pleasing you. i certainly do not want to let you down. Did you have a great day? Friday 8 am your time would be the first chance i can call you. Are you available for 90 minutes?

your toy”

Ah, the disappointment of a toy forgetting his Goddess’ birthday is strong. While it was *nice* to receive an email with an apology, it was even better to use my toy for 90 minutes and play the coin toss game. *insert evil laughter here*

siren call noun

: something that is very appealing and makes a person want to go somewhere or do something but that may have bad results

Do you think you could resist my siren call? If I am being totally honest, which I ALWAYS am, I have very little doubt you could be impervious to it. I am like venus fly trap, and you the fly. You can’t resist the temptation of my nectar, and why would you? I look innocent enough, right? WRONG. The trap has been laid. The second you are in my clutches is the last second of your freedom.

You are mine from that moment on.

Dear loser,

You are nothing without me. You life is not enhanced by me, it is made because of me. Everything you do is for me or because of me. Your cock is mine. Your devotion is mine entirely. You wake up every morning with my name on your tongue, and go to sleep every night with my essence wrapped around you.

You are mine.

I am not yours.

Your Goddess

My birthday is so close, y’all! I am planning on celebrating these ways:

1. Champagne. (Naturally)
2. Poker. (Because I am currently ADDICTED to it)
3. Fucking like an animal (any guesses on what kind of animal?)
4. Eating chocolate raspberry cake
5. Fucking some more
6. Accepting all your gifts and tributes
7. Not complaining about how little you can afford to gift me (hahahaha)
8. Fucking a lot more

It shall be a wonderful birthday indeed.

It seems you little toys/subs/slaves like seeing your emails on my thoughts. Perhaps though you don’t like reading what I have planned for our next session? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And yet you still call. Addicted much?

“Dear Goddess Carmen,

i read your thoughts tonight hoping to find some mention of your dirty little fuck-toy. You can imagine the surge of warmth and desire throughout my body when i came across your sweet words. i was soooo excited to see the story about what you did to me the last time we spoke. i am glad to know you have an appreciation for how difficult it was for me, how hard i worked to please you. Thank you Goddess. i can’t say i was happy to read the last line but, Goddess Carmen knows best. i hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. i am certainly thankful for my wonderful Goddess Carmen.

your toy”

Another example of an email I love to receive:


When I read your (likes: blackmail, enforcing punishment, pushing you to your limits), how you get a rush finding blackmail info and say ‘I want to get you in a compromised position so that the only thing you are able to do is submit to my demands and wishes’, YOU HAVE ME ON MY KNEES, I NEED TO SURRENDER NOW , PLEASE BLACKMAIL ME – I CANNOT RESIST YOU ANYMORE ! ! !”

I love having such an effect over people with my written words. Imagine how much more fun we will have when you get to listen to me speak, hear my commands. Mmmm so much fun to be had.

Thanksgiving was a feast indeed! I must admit though, you little subs are wearing a girl out. I quickly fell asleep after the meal and slept for 16 hours.

Don’t worry- I woke up feeling restored and renewed. I have so many dirty plans for you all, and the energy to go at it with a fervor that might just surprise you. Call me up and see what 16 hours of sleep do to a depraved bitch like me. hahahahahahahaHAHAHAHA

Someone recently called to gauge how I felt about kicking a man in the balls. Here’s how the convo went:

Him: Would you kick me in the balls?
Me: *laughter* Yes.
Him: Would you be like, mean though?
Me: Most certainly.
Him: Some girls say they will kick it hard, but they get scared.
Me: I would enjoy kicking your balls as hard as I can, trust me. I’m sure you deserve it.
Him: You wouldn’t be afraid of hurting me?
Me: *laughter sustained for a long while* NO. I honestly don’t give a fuck if you have to go to the hospital. If you want to be kicked in the balls I would enjoy
Him: *deep breathing and obvious ejaculation*
Me: Yeah, you’re pathetic and I didn’t say you could cum. You deserve a ball kicking.

Currently looking for someone who is willing to go DEEP into their status as a pain slut. I’m talking some truly fucking painful shit, like:

Putting cigs out on their balls
Smashing balls with my high heels
Beating cock with books
Q tips in pee hole
Hot sauce on your dick

You know, the finer things in life. If you have what it takes, I am beyond excited to begin work on you.

Here’s a delightful email I received this evening:


You deserve every amazing fuck you have ever had, or will have. I will never be able to provide for you the way REAL men can but maybe the best way I serve you is allowing myself to be degraded and laughed at. My cock is small, I am worthless.


Please tell me about the biggest cock you have ever fucked, again? It’s my favorite bedtime story.

your cuckold”

You small dick men- you have a place in this world, don’t worry. I mean that place is between my legs licking up another man’s cum….but it’s a place.

If I was a witch I would make all of you wear panties and say sweet things like

“May I make you cum, Goddess Carmen?”


“Did I clean the kitchen to your liking?”


“Would you like to pull up the best contenders on Tinder for your night of pleasure?”

I would also make you wear heels, so you can truly have an appreciation for every woman in your life you have had the pleasure of seeing in heels. I would ALSO make you be trained in the art of massage so you can rub out all the tension you give me from being ungrateful.

I was recently gifted some delicious panties from a girlfriend of mine and let me tell you- they feel so damn good on my body and they look sexy AF. I had someone asked to buy mine off of me, and to be honest…I don’t want to sell them! They are the best panties I have ever worn to date.

If you want these panties you’re going to have to make an offer I can’t refuse. Like your soul in exchange for them. That seems like a fair trade. hahahaha

For all my sexy little sissy subs out there-


I want to be on the phone with you while you search for sexy clothes. I want you to hand me over to the sales associate so I can describe exactly what kind of panties you need. Then, when you get home I want you to Skype with me so you can put on a fashion show for me.

Before you even get to putting on the clothes we need to get your hair and makeup on point. I want you to look the part of my slutty little sissy. We mustn’t forget nails either! I’m going to have you looking tres chic!

Who is ready for some shopping?

Tonight I made my dirty little fuck toy stay on the edge for as long as he could- he made it one minute and fifteen seconds. Not one to be easily impressed, I wanted him to really push himself.

I’m sure after 45 mins of teasing and denying him it was excruciating, but I don’t really care how hard it is…when I want something, I expect to have it. So I told him he could cum if he stayed on the edge for one minute and forty five seconds.

Oh, he voiced concern that he wouldn’t be able to do it. I was fairly certain he was going to beg to not have to do this, but he minded his manners….and you know what? My dirty little fuck toy was able to cum.

I knew he had it in him.

Next time I wont let him cum at all so he doesn’t have to feel the pain of the struggle.


As always, I enjoy getting little love letters like this in my inbox:

“Hello my wonderful Goddess Carmen,

How are you? I have been thinking about you often. In fact, when I think of you I try to stop because I am know how excited I will get and that I am not permitted to cum without your permission. I don’t think it will surprise you, I am unable to stop thinking about you. Of course this drives me crazy. As I type this I can hear you laughing which, as you know, just makes me all the more sexy aroused. I am your tortured fucktoy.

I am able to call you tonight, hopefully towards the start of your shift. Please be available.

your toy”

My sweet, tortured fucktoy….I most certainly did torture him tonight. hahahahaha!

Here are some weird facts, that are sexually themed, that I just learned and felt you needed to know as well.

1. Oral sex makes cocks longer.
Figured this could be helpful for all the losers who send me pics of their pathetically sized cocks…perhaps you should take a picture after it’s got sucked a little. You’re welcome.

2. Research has shown that it’s easier to cum when you’re warm.
I’m currently contemplating making y’all get naked except for socks when we play. Hahahahaha!

3. For 75% of men ejaculation occurs within THREE minutes of penetration.
I’m NOT surprised by this statistic, but if this is you- you’re a loser.

4. The average speed of male ejaculation is 28mph.
I think we could do better than this, don’t you think?

People treat orgasms like it’s all about the cock or pussy. For so many people I talk to they know it’s so much more than that. The brain is the biggest player in this game.

It’s not enough to just say “pound my pussy.” A world or fantasy should be crafted so that you can literally envision your partner bent over a desk, panties at their ankles, panting with their head turned to look behind them, at you, begging you to pound their pussy.

The fruit of it all is in the imagery. Those details make the orgasm more powerful. Don’t believe me- try me. I will take your fantasy and build it into something that leaves you panting and begging for more.

My birthday is coming up VERY soon. I’m planning on celebrating with champagne and orgasms. The more (of both), the better. If you serve me fully plan on being made a fool, my endless teasing, and me asking the ever important question:

“Would you rather me cum or you?”

And you know what the fucking answer better be. Luckily, no one has answered this question wrong…yet. So don’t ruin a girl’s birthday by doing something stupid like saying “my orgasm is more important than yours Goddess.”

Also, I want each of you to make me laugh. I’m talking deep belly laughter. Make ringing in another year of life a blast.

Bound at the ankles and wrist,
Your breathing becomes hitched
It’s been hours since I left you like this,
The silence just now being broken by a click
Your ears strain for the cause,
Your thundering heart threatening to take a pause
Minutes tick by,
And you’re starting to believe you made it up in your mind
Sweat begins to turn cool on your skin,
And the trembling begins
Yet the hours keep sliding past
So slow, yet so fast

Your eyes part open to see the morning light,
And me smiling down at you in delight
Relief then worry stretches upon your face,
With a smile I get into place
For hours I slowly break your will,
Then craft it anew
The pain a crescendo,
The pleasure a lull
The setting sun paints rays across the floor,
And with the softest whisper you beg

I’m fiending for a Thanksgiving themed torture session. You shall be the Thanksgiving feast, and boy oh boy, do I have so much to do to get you prepared. In preparation for our session I have:

Turkey baster
Meat thermometer
Potato masher
Saran Wrap
Wooden spoons galore
Tooth picks

The possibilities are truly endless…as will be your pain. Don’t expect this to me an easy session. DO expect a lot of laughter and joy from me though.

I greatly enjoy a good domestic slave. I have a very high expectations, so don’t expect it to be an easy job. My space must always be meticulously clean as I find that my best ideas come when working in a space that is free of clutter.

But it’s not just a clean house you will be maintaining. You will also be expected to maintain me. And don’t go getting excited so quickly- there’s no way I mean maintained in regard to orgasms (I find more manly men to take care of that, thankyouverymuch.) You will be required to brush my hair, shave my legs, moisturize my body, and massage my whole body.

If you’re up to the job, inquire within. ;)

(Update to my personal ad post)

Or maybe I would lure you in with:

Sweet, innocent woman looking for someone to spend the best years of my life with. I love dancing, poetry, and the intimacy of candle lit dinners. I never want to settle for just good enough, so if you are searching for more in your life than I am your girl. MUST HAVE a sense of adventure.

I would delight in luring people in with this ad, and see how far I can push them. Do you realize how easy it is to make someone do what you want? EASY. You would respond to me in the hopes of a lifetime partner and find yourself being my slave….and you would never even complain. You would actually be grateful for every little hoop I make you jump through.

Life is beautiful.

If I posted in the personal ads it would look something like this:

Currently searching for a test subject. NOT interested in love, but am VERY interested in testing the effectiveness of hand sanitizer against icy hot. Looking for someone to try my heels out on…this will not be a normal fashion show. If you have been burned by love, and want to be burned some more- I am your girl. MUST HAVE a safe word.

Would you respond to my ad?

It’s Novembuuuuurrrrr. The delightful month where I begin to realize my tits could freeze off at any moment. And while I’m sure *some* of you would love that, I won’t give you the satisfaction of it. So here are the ways I am staying warm:

1. Belly laughter at you dropping heavy objects on your worthless cocks.
2. The deep satisfaction of knowing you’re worthless without me definitely keeps my sheets all nice and toasty.
3. One of you bought me a toy….it’s amazing and it spikes my temperature fo’ sho.
4. Fuzzy socks that really make my feet sweaty. Imagine, you foot whores, how yummy those socks are.
5. Having my peasants do labor for me so I can relax in a hot, bubble bath.
6. The fury rooted deep in my heart for all the losers out there who like to waste my time and give me nothing in return.

We Didn’t Start The Fire
(Goddess Carmen Remix)

Lemon juice, icy hot
Cayenne pepper, flip flop
Heeled boots, paper clips
Cigarettes, Q-tips
Fishing hooks, baseball bats
“Please Goddess, I can’t take more of that”
Electric shock, cock ring
You’ve got a new Queen

I definitely started the fire
Now it’s burning
And it’ll go until the world stops turning
I definitely started the fire
Yes I did light it
But don’t try to fight it

“My slave was blindfolded and tied down in the gynecological examination chair. His wrists were tied behind his back. His ankles were tied to the stirrups. I was preparing to climb up on the chair and pee on him. This required me to remove my black, skin-tight, five-inch heeled, lace up, thigh-high stiletto boots. I tried unzipping the first boot, but the zipper got caught in the laces. Struggling, I hopped around the room. Ferociously, I tugged on the laces. I knocked into stainless steel cabinets and fell against the wall as intimidating medical instruments scattered across the floor. My slave remained bound and blindfolded. He fidgeted with concern. I reassured him that everything was OK. My bladder was about to burst. Finally, I was able to peel the boot off before I wet myself. ”

The above story is from a writer detailing some of her dungeon bloopers, and I personally loved this story because I felt a strong connection to her. There have been some times were I was less than graceful, but the show must go on- amiright?

I bet it made the golden shower just that more magical though. I imagine she pissed on him with a ferocity he hadn’t anticipated. An-piss-ipated? hahaha

If you have any funny stories from your service I HAVE to hear them! I love a good laugh, as you probably know.

I thoroughly enjoy listening to y’all sucking on a fat dildo for me. (Bonus points if it’s a real cock!) It’s quite delightful hearing you slurping and gagging on your toy.

What I enjoy even more is training you to take larger cocks. I want to push your mouth and throat to new limits, baby. I relish in making you a fucking dirty little cock worshiping slut.

I am getting so fucking worked up thinking about who is going to call me next to put on a delightful little performance for me. Perhaps if it is a worth performance you will be allowed to hear me cum.

Since Christmas is right around the corner I figured I could make your job easier for you and tell you what would please me.

1. Chocolate (always dark, never milk)
2. The key to your chastity cage
3. Shoes
4. Lingerie
5. A deed of ownership of you
6. ALL the sex toys
7. A month of no cumming for you
8. A shrine dedicated to me
9. A picture of above shrine
10. A visit to a tree so you can pick out a switch for me to use on you
11. Your ass for my enjoyment

MMMk? Thanks!

Her silky tendrils cascaded down her face
Obscuring the pleasure written all over it
As she shook loose her hair
Her teeth sank into her cherry lips
The edge, so close
She worked her body in tighter circles
A hush fell upon the room
As she took in her last controlled breath
Her orgasm pierced every corner of the room
Shaking away cobwebs
Shuttering the lights
The air shifting out of her
Like autumn leaves falling from the trees
Elegant and seemingly all at once
Dew-like sweet glistened her body
Her heart tried to escape from its ribbed cage
She was all and nothing
Light and darkness
The end and the beginning
This was always her favorite slice of time to live in

How long could you make it not being able to cum? One day, one month, a whole year? What if you had someone pushing you past your limits on what you could handle? A gentle, guiding voice that has no qualms about raising it when needed…doesn’t that sound nice?

Ha! Probably not. But it’s not fucking about you is it? If I don’t want you to cum, then you don’t get to cum. Even a ruined orgasm isn’t worth begging for because I will say no.

It won’t be fun. It won’t feel good, initially. However, as you push yourself and focus on what I desire you will find yourself reaching levels of awareness and joy you didn’t know existed. Guaranteed.

I love when I talk to people here who are prepared to get down and dirty. I’m talking lube, butt plugs, nipple clamps, lingerie….the works. These toys enhance our sessions so much.

My personal favorites to use on my slaves are spatulas, butt plug, and sexy attire. Panties alone can be used to actually dress up in or as a cock + ball harness. A butt plug allows me to really tease and penetrate you. And a spatula is for good measure- in case you need a paddling, which you probably do.

As for toys I like to use on myself I have a wand with different speeds and patterns- it’s my favorite. And I am a huge fan of silk on my body; it gets me in the mood real quick.

What are your favorite toys to play with?

Hey Finley, if you’re reading this-

I am sorry about that time you shit talked your way into a wrestling match with me. I mean, I’m not sorry. You got what was served. Although, I am sorry that I nearly sat on your face when I pinned you. Wait I am not sorry about that either.

Honestly, you probably liked it. You’re welcome.

I frequently see those name generator things where you access a list that corresponds to a word and then place the string of words together. I decided to create my own so you can have a fancy sub name. This is going to be so much fun!

Birth month + day of birth = your name
Color of undies = your title
Your name + title = delightful new sub name

Birth Month

January: Princess
February: Bitchy
March: Precious
April: Slutty
May: Loser
June: Slave
July: Toy
August: Whore
September: Pathetic
October: Paypig
November: Sweet
December: Fucking

Day of Birth

1: McSlutface
2: Creampie
3: Pink Pussy
4: Muffdiver
5: Cock Sucker
6: Ass Licker
7: McPoopface
8: Tiny Dick
9: Droopy Balls
10: Cum Lover
11: Toe Jam
12: Bellybutton Lint
13: Gagger
14: Ass Lover
15: Pocket Pussy
16: Used Condom
17: Butt Plug
18: Sex Swing
19: Labia Lover
20: Anal Beads
21: Nipple Clamp
22: Latex Paint
23: Sex Doll
24: Cock Ring
25: Doggy Style
26: Double Headed Vibrator
27: Beef Curtains
28: Scream Queen
29: Moaner
30: Handcuffs
31: Edible Underwear

Color of Undies

White: The Cock-worshiper
Black: The Gangbang Queen
Grey: The Bukkake Pro
Red: The Cum Dumpster
Pink: The Cum Denial Loser
Yellow: The Twat Licking Princess
Green: The Fisting Queen
Blue: The Cum-guzzler
Orange: The Saggy Ballsack
Purple: The Panty Sniffer
None: The Foot Licker

Email me your new name + title, sluts!

Tonight you are the canvas
Your skin prickles at the thought
I look over my tools
Which one shall I paint your body with first?
Your breath hitches
Red blossoming on your cheeks

I plan to draw reds, blues, purples
To the surface of your pale flesh
My music, my muse
It’s okay to cry
The salty brine lingers in the air
It taste like anticipation

The day after
I look forward to making art
Like canvas, you too
Will be stretched taut

WOW. I mean, honestly, I don’t know why I am saying wow. I am not surprised by what this pathetic loser decided to do. But I also don’t understand.

Okay, I have this loser I talked to a LONG time ago. He wanted to relinquish all control- give me passwords and information so I could keep him under my thumb. He also wanted to be trained in pleasuring a cock, with the end goal being to suck a man off. From the get go he would say one thing and then do another. For instance, he would hand me over information and then send an email after we talked saying he couldn’t submit anymore.

We worked through those fears, to an extent, but he was always pulling at the leash. Eventually I decided to let him go because his lack of sincerity was really off putting.

For MONTHS he pursued me, BEGGING to be in my service again and I blew him off. Well, I guess I was feeling nice last week because I agreed to take his call. Idk, I guess I was hoping during the long ass break he took time to truly assess his commitment.

hahahahahaha. WRONG assumption on my part. I gave him one easy assignment after the call:

Within three days from now, email me what you will do to please me and how you plan to follow through on it.

Honestly, the assignment was too easy. And yet, he failed to do it. Big fucking surprise….NOT.

If you’re reading this, loser- you’ve officially used your last life with me. MEOOOOOOW. Next.

Acceptable mantras to supplement your complete submission to me:

1. Goddess Carmen knows best.
2. Goddess Carmen is in complete control of my mind and body.
3. I belong to Goddess. I will make her proud to possess me.
4. My cock belong to Goddess to do as she sees fit.
5. Goddess Carmen’s pleasure is my pleasure.
6. I am owned, loved, and protected.
7. My greatest gift to Goddess is the complete relinquishing of control.
8. I am a toy, to be used and played with as Goddess Carmen sees fit.
9. I am grateful for whatever Goddess allows me to have.
10. I am worthless without Goddess Carmen.

As always, I love to hear what beautiful mantras you can craft. For those who lack creativity or experience, the above list is a reference for what pleases me.

If you could sum out your sexual prowess with five words what would it be? I think mine would be:

I’ll fuck your head up.

For some of you worthless subs, choose one of these since you probably lack the insight and originality to cum up with one:

-I flail like a fish.

-My panting scares the women.

-I can eat pussy sorta.

-I’m selfish and a loser.

-I’m think I’m better thanIam. (Okay, I cheated there)

For my faithful sluts, here are a few options:

-I’m addicted to Goddess Carmen.

-Goddess Carmen has my ballsinherhand.

-I suck without Goddess Carmen.

-I’m lucky to have Goddess.

-No sex life, can’t complain.

-Goddess knows best, I’m nothing.

It had been a long time since I have had sex and we were joking about it at bar. This friend of mine, a very cute blonde who is out of my league called me after I left and asked if it had really been that long. I told her yes and she said to come over, so I rushed over. She said that she felt sorry for me and asked if I want to have sex and I said hell yeah and jumped in the bed. Then I came on the first pump. I couldn’t get it up after that again and faced a giant humiliation.

I read the story above and thought of a few of my subbies out there. I know for certain there are some of you out there who would be dying to get into my pussy and would shoot your pathetic load in .05 seconds. Email me if you feel personally attacked. hahahahaha

Someone shared with me a Fifty Shades of Gray generator and let me say that this ish is GOLD. The premise is that the writing is just as awful as FOG and it only took a computer selecting predetermined words to create it. I clicked the “Generate More” button like 15 times and couldn’t stop laughing. This next one is one of my faves. Enjoy:

“Some girls are happy just to buff the muff when they’re alone, but I can’t get off without having a 9-iron in my clearing in the woods and a 15″ spiked vibrator up my brown mile. My cake hole was so full of skin flute and man fat, the magician’s wax was flowing down my chin and onto my tatas. With his throbbing quim dagger thrusting deep into my kipper dinghy, the sensation of his timed slimer smashing my cervix made me quake like a tasered slab of chopped liver. With my panty hamster now much like a hippo’s yawn, he thought it was time to start stuffing my turd-herder. Is now the time to tell him I really need to ease a colon cobra, I wondered? Now, I’ve seen more pricks than a second hand dartboard, but the sight of his chubstep made my sex wee trickle like a slug in a salt mine.”

Now, if you weren’t just panting with desire during this read then I don’t know what will get you off. hahahahaha

I recently read this next piece on Psychology Today, and I wanted to share it with you real quick:

“Professor Jessica Tracy of the University of British Columbia and her co-author Alec Beall, published the results of a fascinating study on the effects of smiling. They asked over a 1000 volunteers, across three different studies, to rate the “sexual attractiveness” of hundreds of images of men and women, displaying one of four different postures and expressions.

1) happy (smiling)

2) proud (with arms raised overhead)

3) ashamed (with eyes downcast)

4) neutral (staring straight ahead, expressionless)

The results? Men rated the “happy” women the highest (above five on a nine point scale). They rated “proud” women the lowest (on average two points lower). Women, in contrast, rated “proud” men the highest, with a rating between four and five, and “happy” men a point lower.”

Here are my thoughts:

1. No wonder why men like to tell women to smile! I was always dumbfounded why random strange men felt compelled to tell me what to do with my own face.

2. If you want me to smile- get on your knees. I own you nothing, but the odds are better in your favor if you give me something worth smiling at.

3. Why y’all hating on proud women? I am a firm believer in the power of being with a woman who is proud of herself AS WELL as just an overall boss ass bitch.

DO you think this research resonates with you? Are you attracted to a delicate flower who smiles all the time? Or do you like a strong, independent woman whose smile you have to earn?

Don’t Stop Beating (to the tune of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing)

Just a small town girl, workin’ in a phone world
She took the midnight shift goin’ anywhere
Just a city boy, looking to shoot his load
He picked the phone up to call Carmen

The phone rings in a dark room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For $25.89 they can share 15
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers ringing, all hours of the night
They beg Carmen to make the cock feel right
Fleshlights, butt plugs , stroking just to find emotion
Calling YD in the night.

Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin’ anything to shoot the load,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, achy balls never end
It goes on and on and on and on


Don’t stop beating’
Hold on to the feelin’
Fleshlights buttplug

Don’t stop beating’
Hold on to the feelin’
Fleshlights buttplug

Don’t stop beating’
Hold on to the feelin’
Fleshlights buttplug

Fast Car
(Naughty remix)

You got a fast cock
I want to be put into sexual shock
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any hole is better
Starting from horny got nothing to lose
Maybe we’ll make something
Me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast cock
I got a plan to use it real good
I been working on my pussy muscles
Managed to learn how to squirt all over
Won’t have to fuck too far
Just ‘cross the g spot and into my kitty
You and I can both get off
Finally see what it means to be living

See my dear pussy’s got a problem
it’s been three hours since I got off, that’s how it is
I say my lips are too pretty for just fingers
My clits too aroused to be left like this
My vibrators batteries died, it just left me
I needed more time than it could give
Said somebody’s gotta take care of me
So I say fuck me, and that’s what you did

Do You Believe in Magic (the never before released version. You’re welcum)

I believe in cuming, with all of my heart
How the vibrator can turn me on, whenever it starts
And it’s magic, if the vibration is groovy
It makes me feel happy like an old-porn movie
I’ll tell you about the orgasm, and it’ll free your soul
But it’s like trying to tell a vanilla ’bout rock and roll

If you believe in stroking- don’t bother to choose
If it’s cuckolding or sniffing my shoes
Just go and try- it’ll start with a smile
It won’t wipe off your face no matter how hard you try
Your hand start stroking and you can’t seem to find
How you got there, so just blow your mind

If you believe in cumming, come along with me
We’ll cum until morning ’til there’s just you and me
And maybe, if the fucking is right
I’ll meet you tomorrow, sort of late at night
And we’ll go stroking , baby, then you’ll see
How the magic’s in my pussy and the pussy’’s in me

I sometimes like to read embarrassing sex stories, because why not? haha. Anyways, one really stuck out to me, because I was low key jealous.It said:

“When I was in high school, my teacher caught me having sex in the parking lot…with her husband.”

This was my ultimate fantasy back in high school, and it’s a shame I didn’t get to make it happen. Actually, my ultimate fantasy was fucking a teacher…but fucking their husband would be a great substitute too.

So, there is nothing embarrassing about this story. Its gold and it hot. Do you agree or do you agree?

I have a few questions for y’all. Plz answer at your earliest convenience, mmm k. Thanks!

1. What would be the worst place to have sex?

Initially I would say the beach because, ya know, sand everywhere. But maybe that’s too easy of an answer. Maybe the worst place to have sex would be in a port-a-potty. IDK….help me out y’all.

2. What would be the best place to have sex?

I can’t just completely turn you off like that and leave you hanging….actually, I can but I am feeling nice today. So, let’s see. The best place to have sex….hmm. On a warm and sunny day, on a blanket in a field. So I could feel the breeze on my nipples and the sun tickling my skin. What’s yours?

3. How often do you masturbate?

Personally, I do it A LOT. I don’t know why my clit is still here, but looks like she’s a warrior. If I had to quantify it I would guesstimate about three times a day. And how about you?

Someone recently asked me what a good pick up line was. I laughed so hard at their questions as I replied “none.”

There has been only twice in my whole life that a pick up line worked. TWICE. And out of hundreds, if not thousands, I have received- that is not very good odds.

For the two that did succeed what they both had in common was that their pick up wasn’t cheesy, they were authentic and respectful. For those two reasons they stood out and actually piqued my interest.

So, here’s my suggestions lads- if you are interested in a girl just be authentic. Be complimentary and also if she doesn’t want to talk, back away. Respecting a woman will go SO much further. And not every time you approach someone is it going to be a smash, but don’t let that stop you from trying with someone else.

And by all means, if you need some help just call me…please. Let me help save you some face. As a subject matter expert on being hit on, I do have so invaluable knowledge.

I have had a few people ask if they could have their girlfriends or wives listen in on a call, or participate, that I thought I would address it here. The answer to this question is-


I absolutely LOVE another person joining in on the fun. For all you free, and open couples out there- I am so pumped to play with you! Your girl and I are going to have just the greatest time together. You may just explode from listening to us within the first couple of mins.

But don’t forget- we still have her to please. And we are going to take ALL the time to tease and love on her body. I will guide you through exploring every inch of her. Just don’t get jealous when she starts begging to do calls with me more frequently. ;) We can share.

I often am asked “why do you enjoy domming?” and it is such a good question. But it is like explaining a color to someone who can’t see. If you haven’t dommed then how could you possibly fathom the sheer joy of someone doing everything I tell them to. How could you comprehend the power dynamic of D/s if you haven’t lived it?

Maybe I am being extreme in my thinking. Perhaps you have never served or been served, yet there is something about it that draws you. For those of you, let me try to explain.

Domming for me is like an answer to a question I didn’t think to ask. For so many years I was a D without realizing it. I delusioned myself to believe that the men I dated were just softer by nature. I convinced myself that it was normal to be taken on shopping sprees and NOT be dating the guy who was paying. I lived my life this way for so long, without truly thinking the dynamic I had was different from other people’s.

And then a whole new world opened up to me. A world I was participating in, but not aware of it’s depth. And when you truly step into that world it is like walking into a candy store. Everything is so bright and looks yummy. I wanted to do it ALL.

Things I hadn’t considered before suddenly became options- golden showers, cuckolding, severe punishment- you name it. I imagine it is how someone feels when they find their true calling- like a final puzzle piece snapping into the puzzle.

All my delightfully wicked subs- have you been doing your weekly devotionals of me? There is no better way to open my email than seeing your adoration and unworthiness. Here is a recent one that really caught my attention:

“Goddess Carmen makes my knees weak. Her laughter is a shock that curses through my body. Every night, before bed, I repeat 20 times ‘Goddess Carmen knows best. i am nothing without Her.’ The mantra makes me feel weak, yet i have complete conviction in the powers of Goddess Carmen.

i think about Goddess every day. my worthless cock is hard every time i think of her. i know Goddess Carmen doesn’t care about my worthless member, but She loves to hear the power She has over me. It is a might power.

i can’t wait for my next session with Goddess, even though i know i am not going to be able to cum. i am addicted.”

I anticipate my next devotionals will be of this caliber or better. Let’s see how well you sluts can please me.

Here is another shinning example of emails that get me excited:

“Dear Carmen,

So I just purchased a pirate girl skirt, a black lace skirt, and a pair of leggings…I’m on a bit of a budget at the moment but what would you like me to buy for panties? I can try and head to Walmart tomorrow and buy a simple pair that will cover everything…Looking forward to chatting more on Thursday. Also what’s your skype name? Thx.”

I LOVE a good dress up session! And with Halloween behind us there are so many phenomenal pieces to be bought at a discount. Seriously- I implore all of you sissies who love dressing up to go on a little shopping spree AND then do a call with me. I want to see all your yummy outfits.

I can’t wait to see all your sexy and slutty outfits. Dress to impress me, my sluts!

I may have just wrote a love letter about Christmas, so I figured to please all the naysayers of celebrating so early I would write a love letter for Thanksgiving. Well, not quite a letter. What I am going to do is try to make sexual Thanksgiving innuendos or puns. Enjoy ;)

Here we go:

I want you to stuff me like a turkey.

Your cock is long and lean, like a green bean.

I’m going to beet you tonight.

Beet my pussy until its purple.

Talk FOWL to me.

Grab my giblets.

Want to see my Thanksgiving spread?

So there ya go! No complaining that I jumped the gun on Christmas. As evidenced by my puns/innuendos above I am obviously a lover of Thanksgiving.

I have a confession y’all. Christmas is my most favorite time of the year, and I am one of *those* people who decorate before Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Thanksgiving too, I just have an affinity for twinkling lights and the joy of giving.

The reason I am telling you this is because Christmas gets me in a mood. I want to wear soft, luxurious fabrics on my body while I sip hot cocoa by the Christmas tree. I want to light all the candles in my home and listen to Christmas music while making out.

With it getting darker earlier now, and the lights shinning on the tree, I can’t help but be turned on by it all. Its sensual AND sexy.

I am going to do something fun with my Thoughts and Fantasies y’all. I am going to make this ish interactive. Here’s how it goes:

1. You send me an email of a term, phrase, or fetish you want me to write about. Example: “Goddess Carmen, I would be honored if you wrote about dendrophilia. xoxo, Your most devoted sub.”

2. I go look up what the fuck dendrophilia is (in case you’re curious it is a sexual attraction to trees.)

3. I write a wicked piece on me being a witch who wields her powers to make tree branches fuck your every hole (you’re welcome, btw)

Alright my delightful little servants- entertain me with your requests. Let’s get weird and have some fucking fun.

Okay y’all, I need a little help. I recently got an email that said

“do u have a penis fetish?”

What the fuck does this mean? I responded back to the email but haven’t heard back. And look, I have the power of google at my fingertips…but I just don’t think this is a thing.

Penis fetish? I am dying laughing over here. Do I like big cocks? Yes. Do I like making fun of small cocks? Double yes. Do these constitute as having a “penis fetish”?

Please help a sista out.

I recently had someone inquiring about doing a call with me. During our talk he was glancing over my profile, the more he read the more questions he had. Here is the funniest part of the exchange to me:

him: Cum denial- what’s that?

Me: Exactly as it sounds. If I don’t want you to cum, you don’t.

him: Now wait a minute. You’re telling me that I would pay money to talk
to you and I am not guaranteed to cum?

Me: Correct.


him: Well that is ridiculous.

Me: *laughter* I don’t think we are a good fit.

him: Well hold on now. Let’s not rush. What is this about- financial

Me: It’s where I take your money like the little pay pig you are and spend
it on all the wonderfully frivolous things I can find.

him: Well, fuck. I think you’re right. We are NOT a good fit.

I will have you know that if I don’t think you and I are a good fit I will find you someone here who is. Just because you and I don’t work together doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have fun. The guy above found a LOVELY girl to talk to and had an amazing time.

However, if you think you can handle my humor, brutal nature, and sadistic mind I welcome you with open arms. ;)

What do you consider etiquette when playing with more than one Dom? Do you let them establish the rules? Do you talk about what you’re doing with one Dom to the other? Or do you just play it by ear and enjoy each session as a stand alone kind of deal?

I am curious about how people maintain these relationships while also not encroaching on the sacred space with who they are playing with. For me, it matters very little if who I play with finds another Domme to enjoy. It does matter to me that my space with who I am playing with is honored and respected.

Like any relationship- communication is key. But I often wonder what else people, subs specifically, have done to create a space that fits more than two people. So, tell me- how do you strike a balance?

What is your favorite outfit on a woman? I am musing on this because I recently talked to someone who, while they appreciated my very sexy outfit I was wearing, wished I was wearing yoga pants. And it got me thinking about how many people out there prefer sun dresses to leather skirts, or yoga pants to garter belts.

My closet is full to accommodate my different moods. Some days I want to be a sex vixen, and other days I want to be a demure little flower- ripe for the picking.

Clothing has always been my favorite form of self expression….well fashion AND dancing, but we will touch on dancing later. Perhaps you could say I have a bit of an addiction to fashion.

Anywaaaays, I got off topic. I want to know what your favorite outfit is on a woman. The more descriptive, the better.

I love my little emails you pathetic toys/boys send me. Send me all you adoration of me. I live to hear how hopelessly addicted to me you are. hahahahahaha

Take note of the emails below. Note the compliments, desire, and tentative appt scheduling. This is how it is done, sluts. Dont send “wanna fuck?” or a picture of your dick with nothing else written. Ewwwwww.

Dear Goddess Carmen,
i hope you are well and having lots of fun. i bet you are. i have been thinking about you often. From your laughs and stories of your sexual encounters to your orgasms, i miss hearing your pleasure. i am absolutely aching for you. please let me know if you are able to talk early tonight 7 pm your time would be great but i could do 8 as well.

A little poem one of you fine gents wrote for me:

Her moans tumbled from her lips
Cascading down
They parted the waves in my soul
Turbulence became calm
And I became hers

Slave or lover?
The lines blurred in my head
All I desired was to hear those moans again
For her, those moans, I would do it all

Thank you! You know who you are. ;)

I want to know your secrets. Where is the craziest place you fucked? Weirdest porn you watched AND enjoyed? Where did you lose your virginity? How many people have you fucked? What’s the weirdest fetish you would die if your friends knew you had? Have you fucked a watermelon?

Consider me the collector of stories. I could sit and listen to yours for hours. I find everyone’s life fascinating….but throw in sex to the mix and you have my attention.

And, with your consent of course, I love to share your stories with my girlfriends. I will report back which ones made them laugh, what they thought of your patheticness, and how grossed out by you they were.

But even if I don’t share them with my friends I want you to know if you have told me a story it will find a time to pop back into my mind. Just consider it a way to stay on my mind.

I recently had a guy ask me why I was laughing at him. I immediately realized that not everyone who serves me is used to this expression of joy from me. So, let’s get it out in the open.

If you are fucking a watermelon I am going to laugh HARD. If you are begging to be able to cum I am going to laugh manically at you. If you are smashing your nuts with high heels I am going to giggle at your cries. If you are a complete and utter delight and following ALL my directions I am
going to laugh sweetly.

Eventually through serving me you will learn to pick up on my different laughs. You will know when you fucked up and you’re about to be punished. You will know when I am about to do something truly yummy to you. It will be a completely new language that you learn quickly through immersion.

And TRUST you will learn to love my laughs. You will find your body responding involuntarily. You will become addicted.

What I curious to know is in what way will you make me laugh?

Before you serve me for the first time I have a very important question I ask, so I thought it would be helpful to give you an insider’s peek right here. This way you can prepare yourself for your first session; we can get through the question with more ease and get to having some fun quicker.

1. What are your limits?
When I ask this question about 70% of people either don’t know their limits or say they have none. I have played with only two people who truly didn’t have limits….this is a rarity. Do you like being spanked? Would you like to be pounded with my strap on? Do you like cum denial? If I told you to bark would you lose your desire? By asking yourself these questions I will have a better sense of what we can do and we will have more time to explore those fantasies.

I truly enjoy a sub who is in touch with what they like, where they draw the line, and where they have a little wiggle room. It makes the space safe, which in turn makes it reaaallly fun.

A poem about XXX phone sex:

I am 12 years old and home alone
I want to have sex on the phone
“No, no, no. Call back when you don’t sound like a gnome”

I have hooks, nipple clamps, whips..
and maybe a bat
“Who knew phone sex would be like that?”

You’ll bend over
And act a woman, all flirty
“Some of this talk can get quite dirty”

You’ll dress like a dog
I’ll take you for a walk
“Do you regret calling me for sex talk?”

Please mistress, I am not ready
I need some more time
“Then perhaps you called the wrong sex chat line”

I love a good laugh…all my subs know that. As a matter of fact most of them have become addicted to my laughter. I most be honest that I find it arousing that my laugh can invoke such pleasure.

I am sharing another addition of tweets about sex that made me laugh. Read them and know that I had a jolly, good time reading them myself. ;)

1. “If there’s a sock on the doorknob it’s because I am having sex with the other one”

2. “Twitter’s so dead I *almost* considered sex with my husband”

3. “Just once I would like to see an accurate sex scene. You know- him having a hard time getting her off and then giving up.”

4. “{during sex}
Him: You’re tight.
Me: Thanks, you’re pretty cool too.”

5. “Sex makes a great last minute Christmas gift.”

6. “[in the car & my wife turns up the radio]
Wife: it’s our song
Son: you & dad made a song?
Me: no, we listen to this song when we fuck”

7. “[watching a movie] *guy rips girls shirt*
wife: That’s so hot
me *rips her shirt*
wife: Did you just rip my fucking shirt?”

8. “men will literally nut 45 seconds into sex and have the audacity to ask if you came. yeah i came to the wrong house”

9. “[first glass of wine] mmm nice. let’s listen to jazz

[second glass of wine] *struggling to remove my sweatshirt* we should fuck on the roof”

10. “Pulling hair during sex is old. Take her wig off & put it on your head”

Have you every heard of a booty buffet? Probably not, because it is something a special someone and I came up with. But if you’re curious you should ask.

Let’s just say its an all you can eat kind of affair. Think you’re brave enough?

Look at my favorite little sub’s PATHETIC email to me. Cant you just feel the desperation? A Goddess needs to take a vacation every once in awhile, so try not to die my subs while I am gone.

“Hello my wonderful Goddess Carmen. i was so excited to have you use me today. i can’t believe you’re not in! this luck is ridiculous. i am so fucking aching to please you. i should be able to call saturday around the start of your shift.

your toy”

Do you know the best thing about you having small cock? Nothing.

hahaha, just kidding. Although it is pretty worthless I love that you take pleasure from me fucking other cocks. HUGE cocks. Cocks that can satisfy. You always ask me if I enjoyed fucking another guy. I always respond that it is so much better than your worthless small cock.
People who know what I do ask what it is like to phone with girl? And they
want to know what it really entails to have xxx phone sex? I try my best
to explain- but how do you describe blue to a blind person.? I need your
input my sluts- tell me what you think this is like.

To me- it’s everything. It’s sex, laughter, pleasure, denial, pushing to
limits, and satisfied sighs.
Tonight my toy called and I used him with a c&b harness, spatula, and
fleshlight. He kept begging me to cum. I told him I would flip a coin- he
called tails to come. It came out heads. I was feeling gracious so I said
best two out of three…

The best thing happened…

The second time I flipped it was heads again. I died laughing. Poor toy. I
love using him. And torturing him.
So you’re thinking about doing kegel exercises? Before getting started,
you might find it a helpful motivator to know all the benefits the
exercises might bring you.

For most guys the main reasons to do kegel exercises are to help with
ejaculation control or stronger erections. However, there can also be some
surprising extra rewards for your hard work.

Some guys do get kegels wrong and instead of reaping the benefits make
things worse for themselves. So when you decide you’re ready to try them
out, you can find accurate instructions in my guide to kegel exercises.

1. Ejaculation control
This is perhaps the most well-known benefit of doing kegels: helping guys
deal with premature ejaculation. Training the PC and BC muscles can help
by enhancing your ability to hold back from ejaculating just before the
point of no return.

When you find yourself reaching that point during sex, you can squeeze the
BC and PC muscles to prevent yourself from climaxing. So in some ways it
can be seen as a last line of defense. This then buys you time to rest,
change positions or take whatever action you need to delay your orgasm
before continuing to have sex.

6 Surprising Benefits Of Kegel Exercises For Men
Last updated on: August 9, 2016Ethan Green34 Comments
So you’re thinking about doing kegel exercises? Before getting started,
you might find it a helpful motivator to know all the benefits the
exercises might bring you.

For most guys the main reasons to do kegel exercises are to help with
ejaculation control or stronger erections. However, there can also be some
surprising extra rewards for your hard work.

Some guys do get kegels wrong and instead of reaping the benefits make
things worse for themselves. So when you decide you’re ready to try them
out, you can find accurate instructions in my guide to kegel exercises.

1. Ejaculation control
This is perhaps the most well-known benefit of doing kegels: helping guys
deal with premature ejaculation. Training the PC and BC muscles can help
by enhancing your ability to hold back from ejaculating just before the
point of no return.

When you find yourself reaching that point during sex, you can squeeze the
BC and PC muscles to prevent yourself from climaxing. So in some ways it
can be seen as a last line of defense. This then buys you time to rest,
change positions or take whatever action you need to delay your orgasm
before continuing to have sex.

2. Learning to relax the right muscles during sex
Doing kegels can sometimes make things worse for men when they have sex.
This is usually because they think they should be doing kegels constantly
while having sex, but this actually leads to quicker climax.

The problem is, men often don’t realise that the kegels they do in
training should only be used just before they orgasm. Up until that point,
they should do the opposite and try to keep the pelvic floor muscles

It’s becoming more widely known that you’ll last longer if you relax the
pelvic floor muscles while having sex. Use normal Kegels only as a last
defense, and you’ll find you have 2 different ways to control ejaculation.

One of the ways to learn to keep the pelvic floor relaxed is by doing
contrary exercises. For more on this, have a look at my article discussing
how to do reverse kegels.

3. Improving erection strength and size
Doing kegels actively pumps more blood into the penis. This can then have
the following effects on your erection:

You may find you have a bigger erection.
You may have a harder erection.
You might be able to get it up easier by actively pumping blood into it.
This can be particularly useful for men who find they lose an erection
when trying to put a condom on. It may also help men who suffer from
erectile dysfunction.
You may also be able to keep your erection for longer, perhaps even
reaching the fabled level of male multiple orgasms.

4. Improve the force of ejaculation
Some men have found that they have a larger volume of ejaculation after
developing their pelvic floor muscles.
Some men find one of the surprising benefits is that they can ejaculate
further. It doesn’t exactly serve a practical purpose, but fun nonetheless
and good for the ego.

5. More intense orgasms
Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles can result in you having more
powerful orgasms.
If you can stop yourself ejaculating but still orgasm, you may be able to
have male multiple orgasms during sex.

6. Help with incontinence and leaks
One of the kegel exercise benefits not related to sex, but still very
useful for some men is that it can help with incontinence. This is because
you use the same muscles for kegels as you do when trying to hold in

Some men may dribble after they finish urinating. Others may leak when
they laugh, sneeze or strain themselves. Strengthening the right muscles
through kegels can help prevent this from happening.
Need a sensual massage!! Any takers?

1) Setting the mood

Setting the mood is one of the most important steps in a sensual massage.
The massage is meant to be sensual! You need her to feel as comfortable as

First, dim the lights and light a few candles. This provides a nice
romatic ambiance. Next, prepare your place for a massage. Find a good firm
surface for her to lie down (your bed, a beach towel, on the floor or even
on a table. (This is assuming you don’t have a professional massage
table.)) If you are giving her a simple hand or scalp massage, a chair
will do just fine.

2) Music

Music is a vital part of setting the right mood. Please, no AC/DC,
Metallica or Marilyn Manson. Ambient sounds or something like “Liquid
Mind” will do just fine.

Make sure you know what your goal is; either to make her relaxed & ready
for sex or to put her to sleep. If a romantic massage is an appetizer
before the main course, then choose something sexy like soul music or if
its for relaxation then go for soft and slow blues, or even nature sounds
such as running water or the sounds of the rain forest.

3) The oil

Oil is your main ingredient. Its as important as a mechanics wrench.

The list of appropriate oils you can use is long. Hemp, Jojoba, Hazelnut,
Apricot Kernel, Argan, Avocado, Safflower, Rosehip Seed, Walnut, Camelia,
Coconut, Macadamia Nut, Marula, Almond, Moringa, Grapeseed, Sunflower,
Sesame, Mustard, Borage oil or mixed oils are all good choices. Experiment
with a few and find what you like.

You can find all these and more at the health food store. Also, spa shops
and skin care stores have a big variety of blended massage oils containing
two or more oils. These can be very appealing. Or just purchase some
online from the link here.

Almond oil is one of the most popular and my personal favorite as a woman.
It is slightly oily, but allows your hands to slide smoothly. Plus, it
doesn’t get absorbed too easily so you won’t need to keep reapplying it.

**Make sure to buy organic oil in small quantities and store them in a
cool area.
Now that you have all the ingredients to a great sensual massage its time
to learn the various techniques.

The part of the body you are going to play with and the length of the play
depend on your relationship with the woman. If it is a date number ten –
give her a present of a full body massage. Nothing says romance like the
gift of relaxation.

If it’s a one-night stand and you are feeling a bit shy in the beginning –
massage her hand to relax and enjoy the beginning of skin-to-skin contact.
Let the foreplay begin!

Here’s a few sensual massage techniques that will make you seem like a
master of the craft. (you can practice them on your body, for example, on
your thigh)

1) Shiatsu

how to give a sensual massage – shiatsu techniqueShiatsu is the main
massage technique used in Japan and it is pretty easy to learn. If you
have ever gotten a nice back massage and felt someone rubbing out your
knots with their thumbs then you have had the shiatsu style treatment.

Just lay your hands or fingers on a certain spot while applying some
pressure and rotate slowly. Try to find some knots in her upper back and
loosen them up, but not too hard to the point that she is in pain.

If you are really experienced, you can use your elbow on places that
really could use the pressure. But for now lets leave that to the pro’s.

2) Compression

Compression is another common technique used in massage. Basically you
just press down on one area, increasing blood flow and loosening the
muscle. This is a good move to do before partaking in a deeper massage
such as shiatsu, just to warm things up and get the blood flowing. This is
also great on the buttocks, where you can place one hand on top of the
other and rotate slowly.

3) Stroking

The stroking technique is essentially long gentle movements with your
hands along a portion of her body.

Read Are You Working out for the Right Reasons? (We doubt it)
Keep your fingers together, thumbs parallel and palms in full contact with
the body part you are massaging. This is extremely pleasing on all areas
of the body. It’ll make her toes curl with pleasure.

3) Friction

Friction is an advanced technique, but is perfect for using on her hands
and feet.

The friction technique rarely requires the use of oils, which is why you
build up so much friction between your hand and her body. It is a focused
stroke, which is used in some really small area with a certain amount of
stability and pressure. Honestly, its better leave this move for
professionals. But if you do it – be gentle.

4) Kneading

The kneading massage is great for getting deep into muscles and is perfect
for her buttocks or any other fleshy areas. If you are doing it very
gently you can do it anywhere. But don’t do it on her belly, especially if
hers is not that flat. She can feel uncomfortable and fat.

Kneading is similar to the way a baker kneads bread. Have you ever made
bread in before? Its really very simple. The way you do the kneading
massage is by grasping and lifting the tissue (not too high!). First the
palms press down on muscle tissue, then you push your fingers together and
then then you move upward in a lifting motion.

All of these massage moves go great together. For example: Apply Shiatsu
to her shoulders, then use a little bit of oil and stroke the back, knead
the buttocks, stroke the thighs and calves and finish off with a gentle
friction on the soles of her feet. When you’re done, she will be purring
like a cat.
So now you have the perfect setup for giving your sensual massage. You’ve
set the perfect mood, you have the best oil, and your techniques are spot
on. Your ready to give the perfect sensual massage and have her graciously
returning the favor.

Here’s a look a few popular sensual massage moves you can do tonight to
get her in the mood.

1) Head massage (no oil needed)

A head massage can be extremely relaxing. Plus they are perfect for a girl
who you have not yet been intimate with, and who may be a little hesitant
to letting you touch her sensitive areas.

Have her lie down on her stomach with her head on a pillow. If she is
uncomfortable without a massage table she can turn her head to one side
and change its position from time to time. Also, if its easier for you,
you can give a head massage if she is in any comfortable seated position.

Start by rubbing her temples and forehead. Then, run fingers through her
hair and apply gentle downward pressure. Massage the entire scalp in this
manner for as long as you wish, and then kiss her ears (sensitive
erogenous zone) at the end.

2) Back, shoulder and neck massage

Back, shoulder and neck massage is what you think of right away when you
hear the word massage. And for good reason. This is one of the most
relaxing massages to receive and can quickly turn into a sensual evening.

For this, the woman has to be face down and her back must be bare. Get a
moderate amount of oil, warm it in your hands and apply to her upper body.
Start with long strokes on her back, up and down. Then start to do some
Shiatsu and kneading to the shoulders, while every once in a while
progressing to gently stroke the neck.

The bonus of this sensual rubdown is that eventually you will make your
way down to the buttocks, which we will cover in number 3.

3) Buttocks massage

The buttocks are a highly erotic area meant to be spoiled with your new
moves. This is a very sensual massage that is perfect for a romantic
foreplay. Just make sure she is game before you start.

Place your palms on her erotic mounds and massage in circular movements.
Increase the pressure gradually as you cover every area. Next, place your
hands on her right buttock and use the kneading technique. Remember,
create a roll of skin using your thumbs and push it up. Repeat on the left
side. She may just enjoy this as much as you.

4) Leg massage

She will be pleased if you stroke her thighs and calves, knead them
lightly and caress them using your fingertips. Make sure not to put too
much pressure on the knee pits while you use your thumbs to gently massage
the area around the kneecap. For a leg massage, it is best to have her lie
on her back.

5) Foot massage

The feet are a very special part of the body. They are literally a sensual
map of all the body, reflecting different organs and even personality.

Have her lie down on her back. Do not press too much in any small areas
because you can make her have diarrhea for a week (trust me, its

Start from the heel and go up. Be gentle, but not too soft – press a
little and work with your thumbs.

6) Hand massage

Hand massage is very similar to the foot massage. Hands, like feet, are
the map of the body. Start close to the wrist and go up. Massage every
area of her hand with your thumbs and finish off by gently playing with
her fingertips. She’ll enjoy this.

7) Chest massage

A chest or breast massage is a prelude to sex. If you are massaging other
parts of her body, chest should be the last. If you start with it you will
make her very anxious and ready for love games and then what? Relaxing
foot massage? It’s like eating dessert first and after it chewing a steak.

The trick with chest-breast massage is to slowly build up the desire and
finish off with the nipples. It is very important to read her body
language – look at her face and listen to her. Don’t worry, she will tell
you how hard you can be.

Start softly and gently and slowly build more pressure. Remember to caress
every area of the breast as they have essential erogenous zones all over
them. Be more aggressive if she sounds encouraging, rub the breasts, bring
them together, squeeze gently and finish off with the nipples.

I don’t have to tell you what comes next.

8) Putting it all together – Full body rubdown

So now you are a master at every area of her beautiful body. The key is to
be able progress this into a full body, head-to-toe rubdown, including all
the body parts. Not only is this highly satisfying for her, but it is the
greatest visual for a man.

Before we start the breakdown, first begin the massage by applying the oil
to your hands and not to her body. You can always add more oil, but its
hard to get too much off. You can start her on her back or stomach, but
don’t forget to take care of her arms and legs. They are often overlooked.

Don’t be afraid to mount your partner, it only amplifies the sexuality.
Her back massage is perfect, you don’t have to be an expert, just make
sure to cover all areas. e most tense, so many find it good to focus a lot
of attention on this area.
Do you know what my favorite color is? Pink. Something about silky pink
panties, or a soft pink robe turn me on. Or perhaps a beautiful pink
lipstick- I love seeing women wearing that color…makes me want to kiss
their soft lips. And then there are beautiful pink pissy lips…I can
never deny those my attention.

If you think about- so many of the beautiful things out there are pink. ;)
Things some Masters love to hear:

Here’s some of the stuff my Slave says to me:

“Punish me.”

“Fuck me hard.”

“Tear me apart.”

“I need your cock.”

“Do what you want.”

“I’m a dirty whore.”

“Please, Master, Give it to me.”

“I am yours.”

“I want what you want.”

“Use me.”

“How can I please you?”
More rules for being a good little slut:

my head must be bowed down in the presence of my Master.

my eyes must be cast down in the presence of my Master.

i must always wear revealing clothing for my Master unless given
permission to do so otherwise. The clothing i wear will allow easy access
to my cunt, ass and breasts. The clothing will emphasize and often
exaggerate my assets. i will wear such clothing in any kind of weather.

When others show an interest in what i am wearing i must ask them if they
would like to see more and then gladly show them what they would like to
see but only after i have received permission from my Master – for i trust
my Master’s judgement that such a display is not only reasonable but is
safe to do.

i must remove all of my clothing in the way i have been taught when Master
commands of me to do so – regardless of who may be present and despite
where it is i am – i trust my Master.
Rule to please a Dom:

i will serve, obey and please my Master.

Above all else my only desire is to please my Master.

i worship my Master.

i worship my Master’s body.

The power of my Master fills me with awe.

To receive pleasure i must earn it.

i worship my Master’s whip.

i trust my Master.

i am nothing more than an object of great value – an instrument to be used
by my Master for his pleasures.

i will ask my Master for permission to satisfy whatever need i have before
acting on it.

my body and mind is the property of my Master.

i must always give thanks to my Master for all i am given immediately
after receiving what He gives me.

i must be specific in my speech.

i will not hesitate when responding to my Master.
I love dressing up for a date- especially the first date. I put so much
consideration into what will look good on my breasts, what will accentuate
my slender legs and what lip colors will draw their gaze to my lips.

I love choosing the lingerie too. My typical go to is black lace- there is
something so powerful and sexy in black lace. But I have tons of pieces in
all different textures and colors.

Getting dressed for a date is like going to a candy store for me. Oh the
I’ve been seeing a lot of submissive men down on themselves lately and it
makes me so sad when submissive men don’t realize how great they are. You
are not a dime a dozen and you are not interchangeable!

The men who are interchangeable are the ones who call themselves
submissive but think women exist to make their boners happy. Those guys
are boring as shit. Men who actually care about their doms and want to
make them happy are amazing. You can never be boring when you bring your
whole self to the relationship, pay attention to your dom and put effort
into making her happy.

Even if you actually do care about women, there are just so many terrible
stereotypes out there it’s no wonder submissive men’s confidence takes a
hit. How much porn have we all seen where the dom is bored or contemptuous
of the sub? How often are men told that a real man is never vulnerable,
never hands control to someone else, never has feelings or wants to be
wanted? When you see stuff like that all day every day, of course you
start thinking that dominant women don’t actually like submissive men, or
that if there is a dom out there who actually likes submissive men, you’ll
never meet her.

Guys, awesome submissive men who are actually compatible with an
individual dom are rare and precious! Just being compatible on vanilla
levels like values, life goals, how you manage money, etc is hard enough,
finding someone who is also interested in the same kinks, the same sort of
power exchange, the same amount of protocol is fucking miraculous.
Non-kinky people search for the right partner for years and we all know
that’s normal, so why would we think it would be easier to find the right
kinky partner when kink makes things so much more complicated? You are not
a failure or unlovable if you don’t find the right dom instantly, some
people look for decades.

And they’re hot like burning too Submissive men definitely do not get
appreciated enough for how hot they are. In my case, I have trouble
putting how much I like submissive men into words. To use a really
terrible (and dorky) metaphor, it’s like trying to explain why I like
avocados so much. I like avocados because they’re delicious and I like
submissive men because they’re awesome. I mean, people who like making me
happy? And like being all helpless and biteable? And make great noises
when I hit them with stuff? What’s not awesome about all of that?

Submissive men are awesome and anyone who thinks otherwise can fuck right
I think it is time we learn the difference between a smart ass masochist
and a brat. Some people intertwine them, yet I think there is a fine line

brat: A “bratty” submissive has a reputation for talking back, being
disrespectful or mildly disobedient. On the surface, this is a negative
quality in a submissive; however, a certain amount of “brattiness” is
enjoyed by some Dominants, and may in fact be a large component of a power
exchange relationship.

smart-ass masochist (SAM); smart-ass subbie: submissive who exhibits bad
behavior (such as sarcasm, talking back, or disobedience), either because
her Dom enjoys it or to get attention.
There are certain aspects that will make you a good submissive in the eyes
of those who know exactly what makes this so. Here are a few of them.

sexual submissive bdsm sexGIVE THE GIFT OF SUBMISSION WITH FULL
UNDERSTANDING: If you truly want to be a “good” submissive then you have
to understand that what you are granting the Dominant is a true gift and
this must be given with a full understanding of what this entails. You
are putting your trust into this other person, allowing yourself to be
vulnerable in many ways that you have not been previously. You cannot
“fake” submission – and if you try you will not find fulfillment. If you
are unsure in any way that you want to give this gift, then do not do it.

BE HONEST: While the true goal of a submissive is to give pleasure to
their Dominant, you cannot give true pleasure unless you are honest
regarding the activities that you wish to engage in. You have to be
completely honest about your expectations, fears, and apprehensions and
about what you would definitely NOT like to do or participate in. If, for
example, anal sex is something that causes you great fear, do not allow
that to happen until YOU feel that it is something you wish to do. Make
it a hard limit for yourself so that you feel you have some control over
that. [s]ubmission is not about losing ALL control all the time – it is
about freely relinquishing control under a set of certain parameters.

USE YOUR SAFE WORD: ALL Dom / sub pairings NEED to have a safe word. A
safe word is a word or phrase outside of “normal” language that signifies
when play should STOP immediately. This word is a safeguard for the
submissive to be able to be released from anything that is making her /him
uncomfortable, scared or causing pain which is unwanted. If you want to
use your safe word and do not – then it can cause issues with future play.
If you are engaging in something that you wish to stop – then use the
safe word! Good sub-missives do not ignore the safe word, they use it when
they need to. This builds trust between the Dominant and the submissive.

BE RESPECTFUL: [s]ubmission is about a dynamic in which one person is in
a sort of “Master” or, in remedial terms, “boss” type roll. A submissive
is to respect Him / Her. If you want to truly be a good submissive
partner, then you will be respectful of the Dominant. You will not play
games or “pretend” to submit, you will actually give them the respect they
deserve as your Dominant. This can take on many different forms – but the
basic gist is there. Use language which is respectful, use the title you
agree upon – “Master” or “Sir” or another term.

DO AS TOLD – SUBMIT: It may seem obvious, but if you want to be a proper
submissive, you will do as told. This means that in your agreed upon
dynamic, within the confines of the actions you have stated you will
participate in, you DO AS TOLD. Your Dominant asks you to spread your
legs – you do it. Your Dominant asks you to hold an orgasm – you do it.
It is quite simple, really, you DO AS TOLD. [s]ubmission is about

CARE FOR YOUR DOMINANT: The truth is, if you submit yourself to your
Dominant and you truly do not care for him, it will not be as great of a
gift as it could be. The best Dom / sub pairings are between persons who
legitimately care and love each other. Care about their needs, wants,
desires IN and OUT of the bedroom. Try to bring them happiness in ways
that are not related directly to your submission. Show Him / Her that you
really care about them. This will make the act of submission much more
emotional and better overall.

GO BEYOND SEX: A true submissive heart is such even outside of the sexual
realm. While I spend a great deal of time analyzing the sexual nature of
submission, a true submissive partner will be kind, loving, generous,
caring outside of the bedroom. This does NOT mean that you become a slave
for the Dominant, serving 24/7 (although, some relationships are like
this). It simply means that if you care about your Dominant’s opinions,
thoughts, needs and desires in a general way, it will make you the very
best submissive. True submission is not role playing – it is a way of
thinking, acting and being. It gives you the most wonderful reward when
you, yourself, submit to it. If you take a bit of that submissive heart
and place it into “real” life – you will be the very best submissive, and
one the Dominant will cherish.
So you love nothing more than being bent over and spanked senseless on a
Sunday afternoon. More power to you! You’ve identified your kink and
you’re sticking with it – but wait!

There’s more to being a good sub than letting someone do whatever they
want with you. Submissives are strong in their willingness to give
themselves up and hand their safety and wellbeing wholly over to another
for a certain amount of time. They possess as much power as their Dom –
and with this power comes responsibility.

A great sub learns to exercise their power in a way that befits the role.
That is, they learn the true strength in being a sub.

This comes first in the choosing; a great sub won’t play with those who
seek to belittle or undermine; they will only play with Doms that have
shown themselves to be worthwhile partners. They will always safeguard
their own health and wellbeing and won’t be chided into unsafe situations.
They will choose play partners that compliment and challenge their own
roles, allowing them to grow beautifully in their own BDSM experience.
It’s easy to think that it’s only the Dom that is responsible for the well
being of those involved in a scene. It’s not; everyone involved has an
equal role. A Dom should be someone that you respect and aspire to, and
someone that can be in control of a situation no matter how intense it
gets, but as the submissive, you also play an important role in ensuring
everyone’s safety and enjoyment.

You should make sure that your Dom is aware of your physical and mental
state at any time. If you have certain triggers, or physical
vulnerabilities, or if you have boundaries that should not be pushed under
any circumstances, you should make this clear.

A good submissive takes care of their own mental stability. You should not
become a submissive because you are waiting for someone to save you – nor
because you want to allow a Dom to save themselves through using you. Real
life is not like 50 Shades of Grey. BDSM is a mutually beneficial
experience that should be comforting, fun and thrilling – orgasmic, in
fact. If it’s something you enter into with reservations, then you
shouldn’t be there at all.

There are endless resources for submissives to teach themselves about the
role, with my books being a great place to start. If you’re a total
beginner, try How To Be Kinky, but if you’ve been in the kink world a long
while, then why not take a workshop? You’ll learn things that will help
you to express yourself and grow as a sub and as a generally better

Now, with all that said….bend over.
Women undoubtedly worry about different things to men and sex is no
different. We want you to tell us if something feels good, and praise how
we look and feel.

Take your time over foreplay and learn what works for your partner.
Communication in the bedroom is paramount; don’t assume it’s all perfect
just because we haven’t complained or demanded something.

You need to ask and talk to us about what we like. You can do this before,
during or after sex. There’s no rule about the best time to talk to us
about sex. And you might start something amazing if you develop an open
communication about sex between you.

Who knows, you may discover that both of you have been harboring identical
secret fantasies. If you don’t talk about it, you’ll never know!

Oh, and one final tip … although communication is important never ever ask
us if we’ve come yet. If you need to ask then it hasn’t happened. Not only
does this make it evident that you aren’t paying attention, it piles on
the pressure to get there, and there’s no passion killer worse than that.

If this all seems like hard work then bear in mind that the more attention
you give to your partner, the more she is going to want to have sex with
you, and surely that makes up for the extra attention you might need to
start paying.
When it comes to feeling confident in the bedroom, we really need to be
told how great we look, feel, smell and anything else you can think of.

Being naked and having all those bumps and lumps exposed can make us feel
self-conscious and stop us from enjoying sex.

There are so many outside pressures to look great that women carry that
‘body perfect’ pressure into the bedroom. You can blame movies and
super-models for any inhibitions we have. We need you to counteract our
critical opinions of our own bodies and reassure us that we look good.

Earlier I mentioned that foreplay begins way before any touching, so just
keep in mind that if we catch you drooling over perfectly airbrushed women
in men’s magazines, we’ll feel that we can’t live up to those

If you can’t prevent yourself from drooling over those perfect women, then
at least tell us they aren’t a patch on us – we won’t believe you, but
secretly we’ll feel good, and therefore we’ll want more sex with you.
Let’s move on to the female anatomy. This isn’t a science lesson, but if
you don’t know what’s what on the female body and where it’s located, then
we’re going to be disappointed with you.

If you want to know how to satisfy a woman in bed properly, you need to
know exactly where to focus your attention. We want and expect men to be
educated in this respect.

Unless you’ve been living in a monastery all your life, I shouldn’t need
to tell you that women usually need clitoral stimulation to climax, and
the clitoris isn’t located inside the vagina!

Yes, penetrative sex feels good, but it won’t get us there like it will
for a man. A girl needs clitoral stimulation, so don’t be afraid to use
your hands or give your lady oral sex.

It can also come from shifting positions and incorporating different
moves. For example, the figure of eight with your hips – just ask your
partner what feels good, and keep doing it.

Keep in mind that you shouldn’t shift positions too often; women need to
take their time over a build up of sensations. It’s fine to experiment and
change positions at first, but if you find a position that’s stimulating
her in all the right ways, then keep doing exactly the same thing.

Don’t rob her of the build-up to an orgasm just because you think you’ve
been in the same position for too long. This really is key to satisfying a
woman in bed – don’t make her think you’re going to give her an orgasm and
then take it all away!

More of Carmen’s Thoughts…